Terrified
by Dirtiest Girl In America
Summary: He was terrified that his mom wasn't happy, terrified of his dad, terrified of his siblings. He was so scared, he tried to hide but they found him.
1. Meeting Ian

Mickey was terrified, he has always been terrified.

His brother's terrified him, his father terrified him. The only person who didn't terrify Mickey was his mother, well her and his baby sister, but fuck Mandy wasn't even a year old yet, who could she terrify? Mickey's mother would play with him, Mickey knew his mother didn't particularily like him, but she played with him, and took her with him when she would leave the house.

His brother's chased him around, and hit him. Yelled at him, told him he was stupid, made him eat dirt. Mickey was so scared of his brothers, he always tried to hide from them but they _always _found him.

He had a few favorite hiding places one of them was under his bed, it was kind of dusty under there though, it always made him sneeze, so his brothers always found him pretty quick. Another place he liked to hide was in the closet in baby Mandy's room. There were lots of blankets in their, Mickey would sometimes fall asleep. His brothers never found him when he was in there, but sometimes he had to run fast so he didn't have time to run into Mandy's room and get in the closet, so he ended up hiding behind doors, in cabinets, behind the TV stand; all places that they could easily find him.

Mickey's dad would yell at him, hit him, throw beer cans and empty booze bottles at him, Mickey never tried to hide from his dad, he knew that if he ran from his dad that his beating would be worse. He was so scared when his dad beat him and yelled at him, but he was used to it, it was pretty sad that he was _used_to it, that it was so normal.

His mom would play with him, she would talk to him, she didn't like him, but he was her 'Mikey'. Mickey hated being called 'Mikey', it was stupid, it wasn't his name, his name was **Mickey **not stupid 'Mikey'.

* * *

His mom woke him up early one morning, it was a Saturday. They always slept in late on Saturdays, but not this time. It was still dark outside, Mickey asked him mom why they were up before the sun, she just told him to hush and put clean clothes on and meet her by the front door as soon as he was done.

Mickey didn't know what was going on but he did want she told him, when he came out of his room his mom was standing by the front door waiting for him, sleeping Mandy in her carseat, and a diaper bag slung over her shoulder.

Mickey followed his mom out the door he didn't ask where they were going, he just followed her. He followed his mom to the El, they got on it and rode it for what seemed like hours. By the time they got off the sun had come up, and Mickey was really hungry. Mandy had woken up, and she was whining, Mickey guessed she was hungry too.

They got off the El and started walking again, Mickey really wanted to stop walking. He wanted to sit down and eat something, he was really hungry and he was still tired.

"Mom when are we gonna eat?" Mickey's voice was whiny and tired.

"Soon, now be quiet." His mom sounded mad, Mickey didn't want her to be mad so he didn't talk anymore.

They finally stopped outside a big building, his mom knocked on the door a woman answered, Mickey didn't know who she was but he hoped she had some coco puffs.

The woman said her name was Monica, Mickey shrugged and nodded when she spoke to him but didn't speak, he didn't want to make his mom more mad.

His mom didn't talk she just sent down Mandy's carseat and quickly made the now screaming baby a bottle, Mandy could hold the bottle by herself. She motioned for Mickey to sit down, he sat on a a couch, that looked brand new a lot different than the one at his house. She spoke quietly to Monica, Mickey couldn't hear what they were saying. His mom nodded and walked into a different room, Mickey stayed in his seat. A minute later his mom reappeared, she was carrying some food, Mickey could see a few strips of bacon and some eggs and their was a half a piece of toast. She handed the small plate to him.

"Don't get anything on that couch." He nodded and picked up a piece of bacon. It was slightly cold Mickey guessed that it had been cooked awhile ago. He ate silently, and slowly. He had to be careful, he couldn't make a mess. When he finished eating Monica took his plate into, what Mickey assumed was the kitchen.

Monica and his mom dissappeared into room and shut the door. A few moments later a small red-haired baby toddled out toward Mickey, the little boy was closely followed by a boy who looked like he was Mickey's age.

"Who're you?" The other boy asked Mickey as he sat down on the couch and pulled then red head up with him.

"Mickey." He spoke quietly so that his mom wouldn't hear him, he still wasn't supposed to talk, mom would get mad.

Mickey really wasn't scared of his mom, but he didn't want her to get mad, he wanted her to play with him and be nice.

"I'm Lip." Mickey giggled, Lip was a funny name, it wasn't supposed to be a boys name, a lip was on your face.

"You think my names funny?" Mickey shook his head and look over at his baby sister, she looked a lot younger than the red haired boy.

"What's his name?" Mickey pointed at the little boy.

"Hi, 'mIan." Meean, what kid of name was that?

"Meean? That's not even a name." The boy with the funny name, Lip growled.

"His name is Ian." Ohh, that made sense.

"Oh. That's my baby sister Mandy." Mickey pointed to the sleeping baby.

"She's-cute." Lip looked and sounded unhappy.

"She is. How old are you?" Mickey was just trying to be nice, he knew he wasn't supposed to be talking but he thought that if he didn't try to be nice to these kids that would make mom mad too, so he thought it was better if he talked to them.

"Five." They were the same age, well almost.

"I'm almost five, I have a few more months 'til my birthday." Mickey couldn't wait to turn 5.

"I thwee." Ian spoke again, he seemed shy.

"He'll be four in a six months." Lip seemed like a smarty pants, Mickey really didn't like him.

Mickey nodded.

"Mandy's not even one yet." Lip didn't say anything but he had a scowl on his face. Mickey didn't like Lip, and he thought Lip didn't like him either.

Even though Mickey thought Ian was kinda of shy, and he hardly talked Mickey thought he was okay, he kinda of liked him.

Lip grabbed a remote control from somewhere, and turned the TV on. They watched cartoons for the next few hours, until Mickey's mom and Monica finally came out of the room they were in.

His mom was walking funny and she was laughing a lot. Mickey didn't understand what was going on.

"C'mon baby, lets go home." She picked up the carseat and diaper bag, Mickey was standing next to her within seconds.

Monica walked over to his mom and kissed her, **on the mouth**. Mickey thought it was icky but he didn't say anything.

"See ya later Moni." His mom was really happy.

* * *

After their long walk, El ride they finally got home. Mickey went into hos room as soon as they went inside, he didn't want his brothers to hurt him, he was still tired from getting up so early.

He kicked off his shoes and climbed into his bed. He pulled the blanket over his head and fell asleep.

He dreamt of his brothers yelling at him, his dad beating him and his mom not being happy. Mickey was terrified.

_Note to readers- This story is AU, being that: a.) Mandy is going to be 3 years yonger than Mickey. and b.) Monica left when Lip was 5 and Ian was almost 4. Now that I've said that, I need to know should I continue this? Or just let it go; forget it. Also I know I need to work on CMH,CMF but this just came to me last night and the more I write the easier it'll be for me to work on that story :) -Alayna_


	2. Where's mom?

When Mickey woke up, it was to loud yelling. His mom and dad were screaming at eachother. Mickey could hear things breaking. He could hear the sound of dishes and lamps shattering as they hit the hard floor. He could hear how upset his mom was, he wanted her to be happy he didn't understand why she wasn't happy; he had been good all morning so why wasn't mommy happy? Mickey was scared, he wanted mom to be happy and dad to stop yelling. He heard the sound of flesh smacking against flesh, his father had just hit his mother, but Mickey didn't know that, he didn't know what the sound meant; not until later when he saw mommy's face stained with deep purple.

* * *

Around dinner time Mickey was forced out of his room, by his brothers. They dragged him into the backyard and used him as their own personal punching bag. Mickey was used to getting hit by them, it barely even hurt anymore.

When his brothers were finished with him, he went into the house, it was getting late, they should have eaten supper by now, but there was no food on the stove, mom wasn't in the kitchen cooking. In fact, Mickey hadn't seen mom or Mandy since his brothers had been dragging him though the house and into the back yard. Tonight, they didn't eat anything. Tonight, Mickey was alone.

* * *

Mickey crawled into his bed around eleven that night, his stomach was rumbling and his whole body hurt, at least a little bit, Mickey would never say outloud that he was hungry and hurt, especially not when mom wasn't there. Telling his dad or anyone who wasn't his mom would result in him getting hit in the gut, and the words, "Are ya still fucking hungry?" grunted in his face. Admitting that he was hurt and hungry would be showing weakness and Mickey was already terrified, he didn't need to be more terrified, and if he showed that he was weak, he would be eaten alive. Sleep didn't come easily to Mickey, he couldn't stop thinking about where his mom was, Mickey hoped his mom was with Monica. Mickey didn't really know the woman and he didn't know if he liked her but she seemed nice enough, and Mickey hoped that his mom was safe with her.

* * *

Sunday's were Mickey's least favorite day. Terry didn't have to do anything on Sunday's so all he did was sit on the couch and drink, non-stop. That wasn't much different than what he did every other day, except for the fact that on Sunday's his dad would drink twice as much as all the other days, sometimes three times as much. When his dad was really drunk that's when he was the most violent. Mickey was scared of his dad, he knew his dad would kill him if he fucked up enough.

* * *

At ten thirty Mickey was woke up to yelling, again. This time though it was only his dad that was yelling. Yelling about how there were fags on his TV. Mickey knew what a fag was, he knew that boys weren't supposed to like boys, but he didn't understand why. He never dared to ask though. He was terrified that if he said the word, "Fag" in the same sentence with the word, "Why" in front of his dad he would be beaten so bad, he didn't even want to think about the possibilites. It definitely wouldn't end well.

* * *

It was nearly three in the afternoon and his mom still wasn't home. Mickey missed her, and Mandy. He hoped they were both okay. He was so scared that dad had hurt them both.

* * *

It was getting dark outside when his mom finally came home, but Mandy wasn't with her. She told Mickey not to be afraid, that her and Mandy were okay, but he couldn't come with them, not yet, she promised she would be back for him the next day. She made Mickey some dinner, his brother could feed themselves, Mickey was her baby boy, her little Mikey. Before she left again, she put Mickey to bed, she sat on the edge of the bed next to him and told him a bedtime story, she hadn't done that in years. She kissed Mickey's head, "Mikey baby, I love you, everything will be okay."

She promised everything would be okay. Mickey was terrified that it wouldn't be okay.

As Mickey fell asleep his mother's voice echoed in his head.

_Note To Readers- Alright how was it? Also I know Mickey is supposed to be almost 5 and I keep using cuss words, I'm trying to to put fuck in every paragraph, but c'mon it's __**Mickey**__ for fuck's sake, the kid cusses, and I'm sure he has been since before he even knew what the words meant. -Alayna_


	3. Bathroom Scuffle

The next morning when Mickey woke up, it was not to screaming, he was woken up by his brother's pulling him off his bed. His head bounced off the floor, it hurt so bad, but he did not cry out, he stayed silent. He knew that if he cried they would only hurt him worse.

His brother Iggy punched him in the gut, repeatedly while his other brothers held him down.

They were only interrupted when his dad came stumbling into the room. He was still overly drunk from the day before. He laughed and hit Mickey once, then continued into the bathroom.

* * *

Around noon his mom showed up, Terry had left for "work" an hour earlier, all his brother's were at school, or at least they were supposed to be at school. Mickey was alone in the house.

His mom grabbed some of his clothes and a few more and Mandy's things and they left. Mickey didn't think they would ever be coming back. That thought scared him, as well as made him happy. His brothers scared him, his dad scared him, that house scared him.

* * *

They went to Monica's house. Mickey was glad they went there. He liked that red haired boy, Ian. Mickey never really had any friends, he hoped Ian could be his friend.

When they walked in the door Mickey saw his baby sister laying on a blanket on the floor playing with some toys, Ian was sitting on the couch watching cartoons and Mickey guessed that Lip was at school. He could hear Monica moving around in the kitchen, he guessed and hoped that she was making lunch, he was really hungry.

* * *

After eating lunch Mickey was told that he and Ian would be sharing a room. Mickey followed Ian into the room they would be sharing. As soon as they entered the room the red-head began telling Mickey about everything.

"These are my cars, you can play wiff 'em if you want. And that's the bed, we go sleep in there." Ian kept talking but Mickey stayed silent and stopped listening.

He couldn't stop thinkng bout what would happen with dad found out they were gone. Would he try to follow them? Would he try to hurt them? Mickey's thoughts were interrupted when Monica came in the room.

"I hope you're okay with sleeping in here?" She was talking quite loudly, and her voice was kinda squeeky, it hurt Mickey's ears.

"It's okay." Mickey was trying to be nice, and not let his fear show.

"Alrighty dear. How about you and Ian play for alittle while, until Lip gets home from school then maybe all three of you can play." She smiled at him before she left the room.

Ian wanted to color. They sat on the floor with slightly wrinkled pieces of paper and a small tub of half broken crayons between them.

Mickey was drawing a cat, he liked cats, but he wasn't allowed to have one. His cat was dark grey and had a few black patches on it, with bright green eyes. It didn't exactly look like a cat; it looked like a blob of colors with a tail, but Mickey knew what it was and that was all that mattered.

Mickey glanced over at Ian's paper, the red-head had drawn two little stick-ish figure boys, one with bright red hair, the other with black. The boys were holding hands. Mickey knew that the little boys in the picture were him and Ian. He smiled because maybe Ian was already his friend, maybe Ian really liked him.

But if Mickey liked Ian back, did that make him a fag? His dad and brothers hated fags, Mickey couldn't be a fag.

* * *

A few hours later Lip came home. He didn't say hi to Mickey and he didn't look to happy to find out that Mickey, Mandy and their mom would be staying there for awhile.

Mickey really had to take a piss. He asked where the bathroom was, neither his mom nor Monica had thought to tell him. When he tried to go in the bathroom he was stopped by Lip.

"I don't like you." Mickey shrugged.

"I need to go to the bathroom." Lip stood in his way.

"Move." Lip didn't; Mickey pushed him. Lip fell backward into the bathroom. Mickey tried to step over him but Lip tripped him.

"Fucker. Don't trip me." Mickey was mad, really mad. He punched Lip as hard as he could in the face; Lip started crying. Mickey got up and went pee. He left Lip crying on the bathroom floor behind him.

* * *

"What were you thinking hitting Lip?" His mom was yelling at him, Monica was tending to Lip.

"I had to piss, he wouldn't get outta my way. Said he didn't like me, he tripped me, I punched him." His mom shook her head.

"Mikey, you know that you can't fight with him. If you do we can't stay here." She looked mad, but she sounded scared. Mickey didn't want her to be scared or mad.

Mickey mumbled an "I'm sorry." toward Lip. The older boy sniffled a little bit and repeated the words.

* * *

Mickey sat in his, well actually Ian's room on the bed they were to share. He felt bad for making his mom mad and scared but he didn't feel bad about hitting Lip, in fact he was happy that he had hit Lip.

But that also terrified him, his brothers and dad were happy when they hit someone, they didn't care that the other person was hurt. Mickey didn't want to be like his dad or his brothers.

* * *

_Note to readers- Oooo, I made little Mickey cuss outloud! Okay so some of you are probably thinking Mickey shouldn't be having thought's like the ones he's having, he's barely 5, but you have to remember he is Mickey Milkovich, the been cussin' since the womb, fighting since he was knee high to a grasshopper and c'mon he's the Dirtiest White Boy In America :P Let me know what you thought. I love getting reviews. -Jimmy-er, I mean Alayna._


	4. The Truth

Around ten o'clock they had to go to bed, Mickey was scared about that, he was going to be sleeping in the same bed as Ian. What if Ian tried to _cuddle _with him? What if** he** tried to cuddle with Ian? That thought terrified Mickey. Boys weren't supposed to cuddle with boys, only fags did that, Mickey couldn't be a fag.

They climbed into the bed, Mickey got in first because he likes sleeping close to the wall. Besides Ian was younger, what if he had to go piss in the middle of the night? Didn't want him pissing in the bed, Mickey hadn't done that since he was two.

* * *

Mickey woke up in the morning, legs entangled in Ian's, arms wrapped around eachother. His instincts told him to panic and get as far away from Ian as possible but he didn't, he was so very comfortable, and it felt right. His brain told him that it was wrong, but he didn't care, not at that moment.

Mickey couldn't fall back to sleep, and he really didn't want to. He _liked _cuddling with Ian, even if it was supposed to be wrong.

Mickey layed there for almost a half hour, until Lip came in the room.

"Breakfast is done. You two are supposed to come eat." He sounded-angry.

Mickey wanted to punch him _again_.

Ian began to move agaisnt him, that's when Mickey pushed him away.

He climbed off the still half alsleep red-head and made his way to the bathroom.

* * *

After breakfast Ian said he wanted to watch cartoons, he asked Mickey if he wanted to watch with him. Of course Mickey said yes.

Lip left for school, Mickey was glad he was gone.

"D'you like Po'emon?" Mickey smiled.

"Yea, Pokemon are awesome," Mickey paused, to watch the cartoon until the commerical. "Who's your favorite? Mine's Charizard."

"I like him, my fav'rite is Ven'saur."

"I like him too. But Charizard can beat him. He's fire, fire beats grass." Ian was smiling and laughing, Mickey was happy that Ian was happy. The show came back on, Ian was so engrossed in the cartoon, he didn't even notice when Mickey slid closer too him.

Mickey didnt know why he kept moving closer to Ian, but when their hands touched, Ian didn't pull his away.

By the time the show was over they were holding hands. Mickey felt pretty fucing stupid holding another boy's hand, _holding Ian's hand_, but that didn't stop him. He liked holding Ian's hand. Holding another boy's hand was wrong, that's what fags did, but-maybe Mickey was a fag. His dad would kill him if he ever found out. That terrified him.

* * *

When Lip got home he imediately started fighting with Mickey. Mickey wasn't even doing anything, he was just sitting in his and Ian's room, playing with some cars, Ian had just run off to do something with Mickey's mom and Mandy, although what they were doing Mickey wasn't sure.

"Get away from those. They're mine!" Mickey set the car down that he was playing with.

"No, they're Ian's cars." Lip growled.

"No, they're mine, I gave them to Ian when I got new ones." Mickey stood up and walked toward Lip.

"Too bad, I'm playing with 'em." This time, Lip hit Mickey first.

"Big fucking mistake." Mickey punched Lip twice as hard as he had gotten punched.

Lip was crying, Mickey felt proud. Monica, his mom and Ian all came running when they heard Lip crying.

"Whoa, what the fuck is going on?" His mom was yelling, quite loudly.

"He fucking hit me." Mickey yelled back.

"Michael, don't cuss! Why'd he hit you?" Monica knelt down next to Lip.

"Phillip, did you hit him first?"

"Yes." Lip was still crying but he didn't seem sorry at all.

"Why honey?" Mickey stayed silent, waiting for Lip to try and lie.

"I don't like him."

"Why not?" This time Mickey's mom spoke.

"He's making it so you and dad can't get back together. And he's stealing Ian from me. And he's _dirty_." Lip spoke as if he was sad, pissed off and disgusted all at the same time.

Mickey really didn't give a fuck what Lip's _excuse _was.

"He not stealin' me." Mickey's head whipped around to look at Ian. The red-head looked torn, he looked like he wanted to run toward his brother but at the same time he looked like he wanted to stay standing behind Mickey.

"Yea he is. We don't play anymore. And you color with him. And you drawed a picture of you with him." Lip had previously stopped crying but started again.

Ian stayed by Mickey, but talked to Lip.

"I s'ill love you Lip. But Mick's my fwiend." Mickey smiled when Ian said that, for two reasons, 1.) Ian said he was his friend and 2.) Mickey had never been called Mick before, _**ever**_; he liked it. He hoped Ian would call him it a lot more.

"Lip, baby. Mickey isn't taking Ian from you, Ian can have friends. And about me and your dad getting back together, that has nothing to do with them being here." Monica spoke softly but firmly.

Lip nodded and sniffled.

"Now apologize to Mickey." Lip shook his head.

"C'mon, you need to apologize." Lip snorted and mumbled, "I'm sorry."

* * *

After supper Mickey, Lip and Ian all went into Lip's room and started playing with Lip's toys. Lip seemed-happy. Ian was happy, laughing and smiling, but sticking close to Mickey.

Mickey liked that, he liked that Ian was close to him.

Ian being so close to him scared him though, what would happen if his dad found out. His dad and his brothers would call him a fag and hurt him. They would kill him, beat him to death.

* * *

_Note to readers- Let me know what you thought. This chapter is nothing like how I planned it in my head. -Jimmy(Alayna)_


	5. Hiding

_Note to readers- Alright guys I have a little over half of the next chapter of Cross My Heart, Cross My Fingers written but I just can't write anymore of it right now. I'll probably finish it tomorrow. Also this is the chapter I have been waiting to write. -Jimmy_

* * *

It had been two months since Mickey had seen his dad, two months since he had been beaten by his father and his brothers. Mickey didn't have any bruises staining his skin. Nothing hurt.

Every night for two months Mickey had cuddled with Ian. For two months Mickey had woken up with his arms and legs entwined with Ian's. During those two months, Mickey and Ian had held hands multiple times, almost every day actually.

Lip had become a lot friendly toward Mickey. Mickey still sometimes wanted to deck the kid in the fucking face, but he wasn't so bad. They all got along and played together and watched cartoons. Ian was always happy and laughing, smiling and in a good mood. Mickey was glad Ian was in such a good mood _always_, if he hadn't been Mickey would have been pretty fucking upset; not because he _cared_about the kid or anything, only because he was friends with the kid, he didn't want him to be sad.

* * *

It was a Thursday, the whole family was going out shoppingm Mickey didn't know why they all had to fucking go, but he definitely couldn't stay home by himself.

Mickey saw him first, his mom was busy pushing Mandy in the cart and talking with Monica. Ian and Lip didn't know who he was so of course they didn't notice him.

Mickey didn't make any noise, didn't act like even saw him. He subconciously stepped closer to Ian, to-protect him.

After they left the grocery store they had to make a quick trip to some cheap fucking department store, they needed to get Mandy a few new clothes, all that Monica had in the house was boy clothes and what she had were way to big. Mickey's mom had no problem with dressing Mandy in boys clothes, but she certinly couldn't put her in clothes that didn't fit.

When they left the grocery store, Mickey payed close attention, he followed them.

Monica stayed outside with all of the groceries and all of the kids save Mandy.

Mickey made sure Ian stayed next to him. Mickey kept one eye on the man across the street from them, Mickey knew who he was.

His mom came out of the store, a bag full of cheap ass clothes for his baby sister on her arm, Mandy in the other.

Mickey doesn't know what fucking possessed Monica to lean over and kiss his mom in the middle of the the fucking street, in the middle of the fucking day.

Mickey wanted to scream at her and tell her she was fucking retarded, wanted to tell them that fucking _he _was watching. He would fucking kill them.

* * *

The next day Monica had to go to Lip's school, she left Ian with Mickey and his mom and Mandy.

It was around lunchtime, Ian and Mickey were in their room, coloring. Mandy was taking a nap. His mom was cleaning up from lunch.

Someone was pounding on the front door. Mickey's heart jumped into his throat, the only time he had ever heard pounding on a door was when the cops were at the house. But Mickey knew it wasn't the cops.

It was _him_.

* * *

He was screaming, calling her a dyke. Mickey shoved Ian under their bed. The little red-head fit under there prefect. He would be safe, protected under there.

Mickey could hear Mandy crying, he could hear his mom crying.

He had to protect his mom. He ran out into the kitchen, he was beating the shit out of his mom, there was quite a bit of blood.

He hadn't been heard when he ran into the kitchen, he hid around the corner. He watched as his mom was beaten, he could hear bones snapping. He could feel the tears coming up in his eyes. He stomach was twisted in knots, he couldn't breath. He felt like throwing up. He stayed as quiet as he could. His mom fell to the floor, she wasn't moving, she wasn't trying to fight back, she wasn't doing anything.

Mickey knew that there was something really wrong with his mom, she was knocked out or something.

He kicked her, she didn't move, she wasn't breathing.

He drug her body outside, he was out there for quite awhile. Mickey wasn't sure what he was doing, but he stayed where he was hidden.

When he came back in, he started cleaning up the blood.

He threw the blood paper towels and dishrag into a garbage bag which he also took outsde.

Mickey took the oppertunity to run back into his and Ian's room. He could hear Ian crying under the bed.

"Ian you gotta be quiet or he'll hurt you too." Mickey was crying now, he didn't want to get hurt, and he didn't want Ian to get hurt, and his mom was gone. His mom was hurt really bad, Mickey didn't know what was going to happen to her, she wasn't breathing but _maybe_she would be okay. Mickey hoped.

Hope was something Mickey didn't believe in though, why hope for something? Nothing would happen just because you wanted it to.

Mickey tried to decide if he should hide in the closet or try to fit under the bed next to Ian.

He wanted to go get Mandy, she was crying really loud, but he knew that if he went to get her no matter where he hid, they would be found. She wouldn't be quiet.

He knew it would be safer in the closet but he wanted to be close to Ian.

He got down on the floor and wiggled his way under the bed next to Ian.

Ian's face was flushed from crying.

Mickey wanted to hug him, tell him everything was going to be okay. He knew it wasn't though.

Mickey heard him in he house again. Mickey knew that he was going toward Mandy.

Ian was whimpering next to him, "Shh. Ian, please be quiet."

"I scawed Mick." Ian whispered, through tears. Mickey knew he shouldn't talk, so he didn't. He did is best, in the cramped space, to put his arms around Ian. He nuzzled his face into Ian's neck, trying to comfort the red-head.

He felt pretty fucking stupid trying to comfort Ian, but he really was doing it to comfort himself.

His mom was-dead.

* * *

Mickey had seen people get beaten before, he had seen and heard bones breakig, he had felt bones snapping, but it had never been his mom.

When Mickey was three, his brother Iggy beat the shit outta him, broke his arm, Mickey had never felt that much pain in his entire life.

Mikey couldn't imagine what his mom felt.

* * *

Mickey heard him walking around the house, searching; Mickey knew that he was looking for him, he knew that he would try to find him, and if he found him he would hurt him, he would hurt him bad.

Mandy was still crying, not as loud as before but she was still crying. Mickey still had tears running down his cheeks, he could feel Ian's body shaking as he cried.

After what seemed like an eternity, Mandy's crying became distant. He was leaving.

But he was taking Mandy.

Mickey didn't want him to take Mandy.

* * *

Monica came home, "Baby where are you at? Ian? Mickey?" She was calling out for all of them. Mickey and Ian slowly crawled out from underneath the bed.

"You don't tell her anything about what happened okay?" Ian nodded, he was still terrified, so was Mickey, but Mickey knew if either of them told what happened they would all get hurt.

"We were just playing with the cars." Mickey lied through his teeth.

"Oh that's fun. Mickey, where's your mom?"

"She left, I don't know where she went. She took Mandy." Monica looked concerned.

"She left you two alone?" Mickey nodded.

"Why would she do that?" Mickey shrugged.

"How long has she been gone?"

"Not long."

"Hmm..okay. Well you two go back and play with the cars. Lip'll be home in a few hours, he's going to this new friend of his, Karen's house for a little while after school, but then you three can play together." She smiled at Ian and Mickey before they walked back into the bedroom to play.

* * *

Mickey would never tell anyone what happened. No one could know what he saw. No one could know that he and Ian hid under their bed.

Mickey was terrified that his dad would find out that he knew. Mickey was terrified that he would be beaten like his mom.

That night while laying in bed with Ian, he cried. Ian was already asleep, their arms and legs tangled together, their bodies pressed tight agaisnt eachother.

Mickey hadn't cried so much in his entire life.

He was more terrified then he had been in a long time.

He hadn't been so scared since the time when his brother's held him down while Iggy burned him with a lit lighter, he thought they were going to start him on fire.

Mickey cried until he couldn't cry anymore.

His eyes burned, and his throat was dry.

He sniffled for a long time even after the tears were all gone.

As Mickey finally fell asleep he thought he heard a whispered, "I love you Mick." But he couldn't have heard that, Ian wouldn't have said that. _Never_.

* * *

_Note to readers- I feel so good to finally get this chapter out of my head. Let me know all of your thoughts. I want every single one of them. -Jimmy(Alayna)_


	6. Who The Fuck Are They?

The next morning Monica was getting really worried, she had stayed up all night been waiting for Mickey's mom and Mandy to get home; Mickey knew they weren't coming, but he stayed silent. Ian didn't talk very much, he only said a few words when Monica would talk to him.

Shortly before they ate supper, Lip cornered Mickey.

"Where's your mom and Mandy?" Mickey cracked his knuckles and ran his thumb across his lip. Mickey hoped he looked intimidating.

"Dunno." He lied, Mickey was good at lying. He had been raised to lie.

"I know somethin' happened. Ian won't talk to me." Lip looked-determined. Like he thought he was going to find something out. But he wasn't Mickey wasn't going to tell anyone anything.

"Maybe he just doesn't wnt to talk to you right now." Mickey knew why Ian wasn't talking to Lip, Mickey knew why Ian was upset, he was upset too; he didn't let it show though.

"I will find out what happened." Lip walked away.

When they sat down to eat, Lip glared at Mickey the entire time.

Mickey didn't fucking care, let Lip be pissed at him, didn't hurt him any.

* * *

"Mickey are you sure you don't know where your mom and Mandy went?" Monica had asked him a zillion times over the past three days, Mickey's answer was always the same.

"No, she didn't tell me. She just left."

* * *

Monica was nearly always crying, it had been almost two weeks since Mickey's mom had "left".

Lip was still suspicious of Mickey, and Ian was still being quiet as a mouse; unless he was talking to Mickey, then the fucking kid didn't shut up.

Mickey wanted to tell someone about what happened. He wanted to make sure his baby sister was okay, she probably was litterally sitting in shit and he knew that she probably hadn't been fed, and if she had it probably wasn't the food she needed, Mandy needed her formula, and the baby food, she couldn't eat left over pizza and booze.

Mickey hadn't actually thought about his mom since _it _had happened. He thought about her when Monica continuesly asked him if he knew where she was, but he didn't think about what happened to her, he didn't think about if he missed her or not, he just didn't think about her.

* * *

It had been two months and seventeen days since Monica had last seen Mickey's mom. She was fucking distraught. She didn't know what to do. She reported her dissapearence to the police, but they didn't do shit. They were from the south side, why the fuck would anyone care if anyone went missing from there?

Mickey's birthday was coming up pretty soon less than a week actually, he'd be five. He was excited to turn five. The only thing about turning five that didn't excite him was that next year he would have to start school. He had gone to pre-school briefly, but his mom "missed him too much" and pre-school wasn't a required grade so she pulled him out of school.

Mickey didn't want to think about going to school, if he went to school that meant that he wouldn't get to hang out with Ian all day; assuming that he and Ian were still friends when he started school.

* * *

Monica was crying in bed again, Lip was sitting on the couch in the livingroom brooding as usual, Ian was coloring on their bedroom floor, Mickey was laying on their bed, just watching Ian, thinking.

Mickey heard knocking, instantly thoughts of what had happened to his mom flooded his mind. But Mickey knew that he wouldn't come back for him, why the fuck would he? He didn't give a shit about Mickey. Besides whoever was at the door, was knocking normally, they weren't pounding on it like he had.

Mickey heard the door open, followed by slightly slurred speach and a girls voice. Who the fuck had come in the door?

As soon as Ian heard the voices he dropped his crayon and ran out of the room.

Mickey followed, curiosity got the best of him. He _needed_to know who was there.

Sitting on the couch was a girl who looked like she was maybe eight or nine and a scruffy dirty guy. Lip and Ian were sitting between them.

"Mick, c'mere. Sit by me." Ian looked so incredibly happy, and he was actually talking.

"No room." Mickey wished there was, he wanted to sit by his red-head, fuck what? No, Ian wasn't his. He didn't fucking own Ian.

"I wan' you meet Fi." Who the fuck was Fi? Clearly she was the girl sitting next to Ian, but who the fuck was she?

As if Lip could read Mickey's mind, he spoke, "She's our sister. And he's our dad, Frank."

Mickey snorted, he really didn't care to hear Lip talking, but he nodded anyway.

* * *

About an hour after Frank and Fi, who's acutal name Mickey learned was Fiona, had arrived Monica finally came out of the bedroom.

"Frank." Her voice was squeeky and she drug out the "a", it annoyed the fuck outta Mickey.

Mickey ignored what was being said, he didn't fucking care. It didn't involve him. He just stared Ian and watched the boy laugh and play with his older sister.

It made Mickey miss Mandy.

* * *

Mickey quickly found out that Frank was a fucking alcoholic just like his dad. He also found out that the only reason Fiona didn't live with Monica and her brothers was because Monica and her didn't get along, at all. They fucking hated eachother, if it was even possible for a person her age to hate someone so much. Mickey guessed it was possible; Mickey hated him and he hated his brothers, they all could go to fucking hell and Mickey wouldn't give a shit.

Mickey thought Fiona was alright, he didn't like her nor dislike her. She talked to Mickey for a little bit, until Ian decided it was "his turn" with Mickey. Lip and Fiona then went to watch tv, Frank and Monica had dissapeared into Monica's bedroom twenty minutes earlier. Ian dragged Mickey into his room, they hadn't held hands at all all day long the few seconds that their hands had been touching as they were walking to their bedroom were the happiest few seconds Mickey haad experienced that day.

Ian pulled Mickey onto the bed.

"Cuddle Mick." Mickey couldn't say no to Ian, so despite thae fact that it was the middle of the day and Mickey didn't like risking the chance of getting caught intentionally cuddling, but it was Ian so he gave in and cuddled with the boy.

Ian wrapped his arms around Mickey's waist, Mickey did the same to the small red-head. Legs locked together, bodies pressed so close together that there was literally no air between their bodies.

"Mick.." Ian's voice was soft and sleepy.

"What?" Mickey rubbed his cheek against Ian's, he felt incredibley stupid but it was Ian, and Mickey would do anything to and for Ian.

"Mommy told me tha' you gotta go bye." Mickey nearly pushed Ian off the bed, but the red-head stayed pressed agaisnt Mickey.

Where the fuck was he going to go? Monica couldn't seperate them.

"What? No." Mickey was whispering, he didn't want to scare Ian. He kept repeating "no" over and over, not that it mattered what he wanted. Mickey held Ian close, he felt Ian's breathing even out. The little boy had fallen asleep.

"I can't leave you Ian. I don't wnat to leave you. I love you." Mickey had never said those words before. He had never ever told anyone that he loved them, ever. And even now he didn't _really _tell Ian, Ian was asleep.

Mickey truely did love Ian though, he didn't want to ever be away from him.

Mickey was becoming more and more like his brothers but he still loved Ian, just because he was a jerk didn't mean that he couldn't care about someone.

Just because he was a Milkovich didn't mean he couldn't be nice sometimes.

Mickey fell asleep to thoughts of what would happen if he and Ian were seperated, all the while he held Ian.

* * *

_Note to readers- I actually have the next chapter of Cross My Heart, Cross My Fingers written but I need to go back though it and polish a few things up, and within the last-lets say-two days, I have gotten a bit caught up on Tumblr. Heh. Also I've become a bit addicted to Niall Horan, ya know from the band One Direction, I don't even freaking like their genre of music. But Niall is just so perfect, so it may be awhile until I can re-focus on my Shameless fics. But don't worry I won't be "gone" as long as the last time. -Jimmy_


	7. Do We Have To Say Goodbye

Mickey was woken up a few hours later by a squirming Ian.

"Stop moving." Mickey's voice was rough from sleep.

"Gotta potty." Mickey sighed and released Ian from his grasp.

The red-head quckily scrambled into the bathroom. Mickey stayed where he was. He hoped that Ian would come back and lay with him. It had to be close to supper time, if not far past, but Mickey didn't give a fuck. Sleeping stopped the shitty thoughts of having to leave. He didn't even know where he'd go, if Monica sent him away.

He didn't think Monica was dumb enough to send him back to his dad, but then again he could be wrong.

He distantly heard the toliet flushing. He stayed still and waited to hear Ian's footsteps as he re-entered the room.

The footsteps didn't come. Mickey still layed on the bed, he stayed there. Maybe Ian just needed a drink. Mickey shrugged and tried to get comfortable again; that was damn near imposible without Ian next to him.

It had to have been twenty minutes that Mickey layed there, uncomfortable and alone in complete silence.

If he strained his ears a bit he could hear-far away-slurs. Frank was still there.

He swallowed hard as he waited.

Five more mintues; no Ian.

Ten more; no Ian.

Finally Mickey heard Ian's feet on the floor. He sounded rushed.

The younger boy jumped onto the bed next to Mickey.

"Mick!" Ian was yelling, but he didn't sound completley happy.

Mickey turned his head toward the red-head, his eyes were still closed.

"What?" Mickey wanted to pull Ian down into his arms and just go back to sleep.

"We leaving." Mickey's eyes opened instantly. Ian's face was flushed, his nose bright red, Mickey could see the wet trails on Ian's cheeks. Ian was crying and looked so sad, but Mickey could see a hint of-what looked like happiness underneath it all.

"What?" Mickey didn't want to go now, He wanted more time with Ian.

* * *

Mickey found out the house that he had thought was Monica's was actually a cousin of her's house, her cousin had moved outta Chicago a few years ago, but never sold the house. Her cousin had said she could stay there as long as she wanted.

The real Gallagher home was pretty small. The front door had a strange pattern on it; Mickey didn't like it.

They had packed some of their clothes as well as a few toys and other odds and ends. Monica had said they would come back for the rest the next day, seeing as it was already eight at night.

Upon entering the Gallagher house, Mickey was instantly assulted by the smell of stale cigarettes, weed and old cheap booze. It smelled like-home. No, that place wasn't Mickey's home, his home was with Ian.

* * *

There were four bedrooms upstairs. Ian and Lip each had their own. Monica and Frank had their room. And there was the "spare bedroom" that didn't have a bed. Mickey assumed he would be sleeping on the floor; the cold hard floor all alone.

He was wrong.

Ian pulled him into his room.

"You sleep wifh me." Mickey just nodded and set the small bag, with his clothes and the picture Ian had drawn of them together inside it, down.

Mickey was going to ask Ian if he was sleeping on the floor in his room or if he got to share the bed, but before he could Monica yelled up the stairs.

"Come eat boys, then it's bedtime." Mickey didn't feel right, maybe it was nerves, maybe it was the fact that he was going to have to leave soon, maybe it was the new surroundings, maybe it was the way Monica was treating him like-_her son_.

They ate semi-burnt mac 'n cheese for dinner. There was barely enough, there wouldn't have been if Frank had actually eaten and not just had a liquid meal; but Mickey was glad he didn't because he was hungry.

* * *

They changed into their pajamas, or in Mickey's case he put on sweat pants instead of his jeans.

They brushed their teeth, and pissed.

Mickey followed Ian into the bedroom.

Ian climbed up into the bed, it was a bit higher then the one at the other house.

Mickey began to lye down on the floor, Ian grabbed his arm.

"No, silly. You sleep wifh me." Mickey tried to hide his smirk.

He climbed up next to Ian and crawled over him, Mickey had to sleep by the wall after all.

Instantly arms were around Mickey, but his arms were around the red-head just as fast so it wasn't awkward or anything.

Legs became twisted together.

Mickey layed his head onto of Ian's, he somehow always ended up higher on the bed than Ian.

"Night Mick."

"G'night Ian." Mickey was on the cusp of conciousness when he heard it.

"I love you Mickey." The words were whispered; they brought tears to Mickey's eyes.

That terrified him, why the fuck should words case him to cry?

Isn't that something that happened to fags?

Mickey tried to fall asleep, it was difficult with Ian's words echoing inside his head.

He layed there listening to those four words on re-play in his head.

After what seemed like an hour, despite the fact that it had only been maybe five minutes, Mickey could hear Ian snorning.

"Ian," He whispered, no response, "Ian, I love you too."

He fell asleep for the second time in less than five hours with Ian in his arms.

* * *

_Note To Readers- Please, oh please let me know what you thought. I litterally wrote this in less than a half an hour. It wrote itself, it's a little shorter than the others but not by much, and the content make the "shortness" so worth it. -J.J.(Jimmy, Jimmy James, James, Jimmy J, J James, Jimmy J, Alayna)_


	8. It Hurts Me To Think That You've Cried

_Note to readers- WARNING: SAD, I mean get a box of tissues sad, CHAPTER!_

When Mickey woke up, he could smell bacon. Ian was no longer next to him, but the mattress was still warm; the red-head hadn't been gone long.

Mickey stumbled out of the bed, he exited the room, and quickly located the bathroom, that he had been quickly shown the night before when he and Ian had used it.

He pissed, washed his hands and went down the stairs, searching for Ian and for the bacon he could smell.

He found the bacon first, there was a plate sitting on the table, Monica was standing at the sink washing dishes.

"Good morning Mikey. Eat, then you can join Ian in the other room to watch some cartoons." Mickey just nodded and began eating the bacon, eggs and toast.

* * *

When Mickey had finished eating, he wandered into the living room. Ian was sitting on the couch all by himself. Some cartoon that Mickey didn't particularily like was on the tv.

"C'mon can we change this shit? I can't stand it." Ian shook his head and stuck his tongue out at Mickey.

"I wuv Yodi." Yodi? Wasn't that stupid bear called Yogi? Mickey didn't care enough to ask, he just sat next to Ian and watched it.

Less than a minute after Mickey had sat down, Ian grabbed his hand and pulled him closer to him, they kept they fingers interlocked after Mickey was pressed up agaisnt Ian.

* * *

That night at dinner, Mickey's perfect little world came crashing down.

"Mickey, you've gotta go home." Frank was slurring, by Mickey understood.

His eyes widened slightly, but he nodded.

He didn't want to leave. He didn't want to leave _**ever**_.

What if he never saw Ian again? Well pretty much everyone knew everyone on the south side, but still Mickey might not see _his_red-head anymore.

"Mikey, sweetie, you know we'd keep you here if we could afford it." Monica's voice was squeeky as usual. Mickey's mind was racing so much that he barely even noticed that Monica had called him **Mikey **for the second time that day.

Mickey didn't eat much after that.

He wasn't hungry anymore.

Frank had made all the plans, the next afternoon he and Mickey would go and get the rest of Mickey's things from _the old house_and then Frank would take him to Terry.

Mickey didn't want to go back with Terry.

He didn't want to be anywhere near his dad.

* * *

It was _bedtime_, Ian stood in front of the bed, waiting for Mickey to climb in.

Mickey shook his head.

"It's better if I sleep in the other room." Before Mickey could turn and walk out the door, Ian grabbed him.

"No! Stay here." Mickey could see the tears and all the sadness in Ian's eyes. Mickey couldn't say no to Ian, but he **knew** that he **couldn't **sleep in the same bed as Ian.

"I sleep on the floor." Mickey tried to sound firm but his voice shook slightly.

Ian sniffled a bit and nodded. He handed Mickey _his _pillow and the blanket.

"You keep. You'll get cold."

"You need it." Mickey shook his head. He didn't want Ian to get cold, Mickey was always sleeping without a blanket, well he had been, his brothers always took his blankets. Sometimes they even took his pillows.

Ian climbed onto the bed, he had the saddest look _ever_on his face; Mickey felt really bad.

Mickey still had the blanket in his hand, he took a few steps forward and draped the blanket over the small, sad red-head who looked like he was about to cry.

Mickey's heart hurt.

He didn't what it meant, but he knew that it had to do with his _feelings _for Ian.

Mickey had a strange urge to lean down and kiss Ian's forehead, like his mom used to do when he was upset, but he didn't. That was stupid.

He stared at Ian maybe a little longer than necessary.

He walked a short distance away from the bed, layed the pillow down and followed it with his body.

* * *

The floor was hard, and cold, and lonely. But the pillow he had smelled like Ian, Ian had his pillow up on the bed, Mickey guessed it probably smelled the way he did, but he wasn't sure.

Mickey wished he was up laying in the warm bed, arms wrapped around Ian, but he _**couldn't **_do that.

About ten mintues after they had each layed down, facing eachother Ian turned away.

Not long after that, Mickey had heard the sniffling, and the choked down sobs.

They continued for a long time, Mickey didn't know how long, but with each passing second he felt worse and worse.

Eventually the sounds stopped, and Mickey could hear Ian's soft snoring.

That's when it happened, Mickey felt the wetness on his cheeks before he realized what was happening.

Mickey didn't like crying, crying was showing a weakness, crying was for pussies.

But still Mickey cried, they were silent tears but his entire body shook.

Mickey turned toward the wall, he didn't want to be looking at Ian's back anymore, and he didn't want to risk being caught crying.

* * *

He layed down next to the boy whom he loved. The boy had been crying. He knew that, he had been crying too.

He wrapped his arm around the other's waist and as if instinct the other snuggled into him.

He smiled slightly and whispered, "I love you so much."

* * *

When Mickey woke up, he wanted nothing more than to go back to sleep and never wake up.

But as his head cleared from the sleepy haze, he realized something, Ian was behind him, arms wrapped tightly around him.

Mickey smiled, Ian came to him in the middle of the night, Mickey wanted to do the same thing, but he had cried himself to sleep and never got the chance.

Mickey's smile disappeared quickly though, thoughts of what would happen in a few hours quickly invaded his mind.

He could tell that Ian was still asleep, so he risked it, he whispered the words that he longed to say outloud, the words that he wished Ian would say to him, "I love you."

Mickey pressed back agaisnt Ian. The younger boy tightened his grip on Mickey, although Mickey doesn't know how, because the red haired boy had already been holding him impossibly tight.

Mickey tried not to start crying again, but he could fall back to sleep, and he didn't want to leave Ian's arms. All he could do was lay there and try to enjoy Ian holding him. But all he could concentrait on was leaving.

* * *

Mickey really had to go pee, but he didn't get up. He wouldn't get up, he would stay laying on the floor with Ian for as long as he could. The rest of his life if it was possible.

Mickey heard the door open, he was still facing the wall so he had no idea who had entered the room.

He heard a softly spoken, "Aw." The voice was that of a female, but it wasn't squeeky enough to be Monica and Fiona was at school.

He heard footsteps, this woman was walking toward him and Ian.

The woman spoke again, a bit louder.

"Ian, it's time to get up." Mickey could feel Ian begin to stir behind him.

Mickey felt Ian turn his head slightly, he guessed it was so Ian could look at the woman who was speaking.

"V." Mickey didn't know what the fuck "V" meant, it couldn't be a name, all "V" was is a letter. But then again Mickey was in the Gallagher house, they had a kid with the name Lip so who knows maybe there was another kid with just one letter as her name.

"Yea bud, you and your friend need to get up." Mickey felt Ian nod. He heard this "V" woman's footsteps as she left room, the door clicked softly behnd her.

Mickey pretended to be alseep when Ian turned his face back toward him.

He knew Ian couldn't see his face but his eyes were shut tight and he had tried to even out his breathing so Ian didn't know e was awake.

Ian nuzzled the back of his neck. Ian squeezed Mickey's body lightly before speaking.

"Mick?" Mickey moved slightly as if he was just waking up.

He mumbled a little bit, like he always did when he was waking up when someone was talking to him.

Mickey could feel the back of his neck getting a little bit damp; Ian was crying _again_.

"Mickey, gotta wake up," Mickey slowly opened his eyes and turned toward Ian.

He tried to sound sleepy, but he mostly sounded sad.

"Don' wanna." Ian nodded in agreement.

The pair stared into eachother's eyes for quite some time, they layed on the floor, Ian's arms still around Mickey, their bodies still pressed tight against one another, they didn't make any noise, just looked at eachother.

Distantly Mickey heard Monica calling Ian, telling him to come downstairs and have breakfast.

Neither boy moved to go have breakfast.

They stayed where they were. Mickey knew Ian must have needed to go to the bathroom, because he really did, and Ian was younger, he didn't have the best bladder control. But then Mickey thought about it and maybe Ian went during the middle ofthe night, before he layed with Mickey? So he didn't have to go so bad right now.

Mickey's not sure if he moved first or if Ian did, but their faces got closer together, Mickey could feel Ian's breath on his face.

Mickey could feel the tears pooling in his eyes and he could see the ones threatening to fall from Ian's.

Their lips brushed agaisnt eachother. Mickey didn't even know what it meant, he knew that they had kissed but he didn't know why, he didn't understand why they had kissed like that, the only person Mickey had ever kissed on the mouth was his mom, and that was nasty, but Mickey _**liked **_kissing Ian.

* * *

Mickey flushed the toliet, it was a little bit awkward gong to the bathroom because Ian was literally attached to him, their hands only parted when Mickey was actually going pee. Mickey didn't care that Ian saw him go pee but it was kinda weird because while he was peeing Ian was _touching_him, Ian had let go of his hand but was touching his back while he actually went pee.

As soon as Mickey had finished washing his hands, Ian grabbed his again.

The red-head was holding his hand so tight, like Ian thought if he held on tight enough Mickey wouldn't have to leave.

* * *

They ate together, and Ian's hand never left some body part of Mickey's. When they first started to eat Ian quickly realized that Mickey needed both hands, so Ian placed his hand on Mickey's shoulder, as the meal went on his hand slipped lower and lower until the end of the meal where it was on Mickey's upper thigh.

Mickey had no idea how Ian had managed to eat all of his food one handed, but he really didn't care to know, all he knew was that he needed two hands to eat.

When they were done eating, they went Monica said that Frank would be taking Mickey to go get his things soon, so they should go play for a bit and say goodbye.

Mickey hoped they could just sit together and watch cartoons, but that's not what Ian wanted to do.

Ian drug him back up to the bedroom.

"C'mon Ian, I don't want to lay down, I wanna fucking play before I go." Ian giggled.

"Don't wanna lay down. Not yet." Ian grabbed the tub of crayons off the shelf, and a stack of wrinkled paper, some of which was torn.

"I wanna color. Like first time." Mickey smiled remembering when he and Ian had first played together. He thought about the drawing Ian had made of them that was tucked away in his bag.

Ian started coloring.

"Color wifh me." Mickey sighed softly and smiled at Ian.

He began coloring.

Mickey drew a big bright red circle, with a black circle surrounding it. He wasn't sure why he did it, or what it was supposed to be.

Ian on the other hand had drawn himself and Mickey again, but this time they both looked sad. The two slightly-more-than-stick-figure boys had frowns and were holding hands. There were boxes drawn behind Mickey and what Mickey guessed was a bed behind Ian.

With their pictures drawn, they had nothing left to do before Mickey left, except cuddle one last time.

They grabbed Ian's pillow off the floor and climbed into the bed.

Mickey knew that they wouldn't be sleeping this time.

Ian layed his head on Mickey's chest.

"Don't want you to go." Mickey's heart felt like it was breaking.

"Don' wanna go." He heard Ian sniffle, fuck, he knew what that meant.

He made Ian look at him.

"Don't cry. Not again." Ian's eyes widened a little.

"But I'm sad." Mickey had that urge to kiss Ian's forehead, or maybe mouth, again; but again he didn't do it.

"Don't be. I'm not gone yet." Ian smiled slighty, but still had tears in his eyes.

"Soon." Mickey nodded.

Their lips touched again, this time Mickey knew that it was Ian who had moved first.

Their lips stayed touching for a lot longer than the first time.

The first time they had barely brushed against eachother, this time their lips stayed crushed, slightly painfully together for what seemed like years.

* * *

Frank said it was time to go. Mickey didn't want to go with him, but he **had **to, so he did.

They went and got the rest of his clothes, there weren't many. Mickey shoved them into the already full bag he had.

Frank shut the door behind them and they began there trek to The Milkovich house.

Frank knocked on the door, Mickey stood slightly hidden from sight behind him.

Terry opened the door, loudly with a beer in hand.

"What'd ya want Gallagher?" Mickey could hear his brother's arguing in the background and his sister crying.

"Returning something of your's." Terry's face breifly lit up, Mickey knew his dad thought he wa getting money or drugs.

Frank tugged Mickey out from behind him.

"So little fucker's been with you?" Frank nodded.

"Yes, we've been feeding him our food, paying for everything." Mickey knew what Frank was trying to do, it was the same shit his dad did, he was trying to get money.

Terry snorted, "Well don't think yer getting paid for that shit. Nobody told you to take him in."

Frank grumbled a bit, and Terry yanked Mickey into the house and slammed the door in Frank's face.

Mickey was terrified, he didn't know what his dad would do. What if his dad knew that he had seen everything that happened? Would the same thing happen to him? And what if his dad or his brothers found out about him cuddling with Ian? What if they found out about the kisses? They would kill him.

* * *

_Note To Readers- Alright, it's 10:17am and I've been working on this __**all**__ night. Let me know what ou thought. Also from what I've gathered from the show, V and Fi and close in age, but obviously V is a bit older, so in this I've got it as V is like high school age, and the reason she was there when Fi was at school is because she didn't have to go to school until a bit later, like when I went to school I didn't have to go in until almost 10:30..so yea. -Jimmy J_


	9. You Do, What You Gotta Do

When the door slammed, Mickey knew exactly what was going to happen. He braced himself and took it.

He didn't let any tears fall, and he didn't speak when he was yelled at, he just stood there.

"YOU'RE FUCKING USELESS! YOU CAN'T DO ANYTHING RIGHT!"

* * *

His face was red and sore, his entire body ached. He knew he would be covered in bruises.

Mandy was still crying, Mickey went to find her. She was in her crib; diaper near over flowing, she looked dirty, but when she saw Mickey, she seemed to calm down a bit-like she _knew _that Mickey cared.

Mickey knew he couldn't take care of Mandy, he knew that he couldn't make bottles for her, and change her diaper and give her a bath, but he could try.

He wished he could just run away and take Mandy with him.

He wished they could live with the Gallagher's and be happy and never have to see Terry ever ever again. But that would never happen.

Mickey knew he wouldn't be able to lift Mandy out of her crib, not by himself, but he could climb into it.

Mickey didn't really know what he was doing, he had seen his mom and Monica changing Mandy's diaper before so he tried.

He climbed into the crib, the bed creaked a bit, but not much, Mickey was pretty light.

He had the clean diaper and some baby wipes with him, he knew Mandy had pooped, and he knew that he had to clean it off of her.

She only had on a t-shirt and the diaper, so Mickey didn't have to try to take pants or anything off of her.

He pulled the little tape strips open, it was nasty.

Mickey didn't want to touch-shit. But he did it, because Mandy was his baby sister and he loved her, he was her big brother, he had to do that kind of shit for her when no one else would.

He used far too many wipes, but he had to make sure he got it all off, he didn't want Mandy to get diaper rash or some shit.

He put the clean diaper on her.

"I'm sorry Mandy." Mickey whispered as he climbed out of her crib, dirty diaper in hand.

Mandy was still whining a bit, Mickey figured she hadn't eaten in quite awhile.

He made his way into the kitchen, unnoticed. He threw the diaper into the trash can and climbed onto the counter to find a bottle in one of the cabinets.

Mickey found one that wasn't dirty. He really didn't know how to make the bottle, he didn't know how much water to put in it, or how much of that nasty smelling powdered shit to put in it, but he'd seen other people make bottles for Mandy. He knew that the water couldn't be hot or else it would hurt Mandy, he knew that it couldn't be too cold either because that would make her tummy hurt.

He just guessed at how much of each to put in, it didn't look too thick or thin and it wasn't very hot-it was pleasantly warm. Mickey snuck back into Mandy's room, if Terry or his brothers knew what he was doing they would stop him, Mickey knew they would. Milkovich's can take care of themselves-apparently even babies.

Mandy was laying not sitting this time, she was whimpering a bit, as if she knew she needed to not be so loud. Mickey set the bottle in the crib and climbed in. He knew Mandy could hold the bottle on her own, but he felt better sitting with her.

He pulled Mandy into his lap, so that she was leaning into his chest but still sitting on her own. He placed the bottle in her hands, she instantly began to suck down the milk. Mickey smilled, he was wrong, Mickey wasn't useless, he could do something right; he could love and take care of Mandy. He wasn't even five yet, but he could do it. He had to do it. If he didn't who would?

* * *

Mickey contiuned to sneak Mandy bottles, he would always sit with her while she drank them. He continued to change Mandy's diapers and once when his brothers were out beating someone up or doing some other stupid shit and Terry was passed out, Mickey managed to give Mandy a bath. It was a pretty shitty bath, Mickey had to get in with her, which was really fucking weird, he had to be naked, because he didn't want to get his clothes wet. They were in the tub for all of ten minutes, Mickey didn't wash himself, just Mandy.

They were running out of the powder shit Mandy ate as well as diapers and wipes. Mickey didn't know what to do. He knew that Terry wasn't going to buy them, and Mickey didn't have any money.

He knew that he couldn't take money from Terry or his brothers. He _knew _he **had **to steal the stuff for Mandy.

He didn't know how he was going to do it, but he had to do it for her.

Mickey knew he couldn't leave Mandy in the house by herself. Not that leaving her with Terry or their brother's would be any different, but he felt better knowing they were there even if they wouldn't do anything with her, let alone for her.

Terry was drinking, as usual. His brothers were either in their rooms or in the backyard getting high and shooting at shit with the gun they had stolen.

Mickey slipped out the door, he knew that no one had seen him.

He didn't know what store to go to, but the closest one was the Kash And Grab. He had been in there a few times with his mom.

A few people gave him strange looks as he walked down the street, but they didn't bother to say anything because-he was Milkovich trash.

He entered the store, instantly eyes were on him, but as soon as the people realized who he was they averted their eyes. Who cares about a little boy with the last name of Milkovich? No one.

Mickey remembed what the can of formula looked like, it was orange, he found that one on the shelf, and slipped it into the inside of his sweatshirt, he had worn one of Tony's old hoodies, it was big enough that Mickey could stick things inside it, but small enough that it didn't look _huge_on him. He walked the short distance to the diapers, he couldn't rembember if the ones he had been putting on Mandy had a three or a four on them. He go the bigger ones. He was pretty sure that's what Mandy had been wearing. He hoped.

He began to walk out of the store.

No one said anything, no one was trying to stop him.

He had one arm inside the sweatshirt holding the diapers and formula, the sleeves were long enough that he could have that arm in and noone would be able to tell.

He pushed the door open with his free, sleeve covered arm.

He stepped out into the street, still no one tried to stop him.

He damn near ran down the street away from the store.

He had gotten away.

He got the stuff Mandy needed.

But what would happen next time? Mickey didn't want to think about that.

* * *

When Mickey was in bed at night, all he could do was think about that red-haired boy and his baby sister.

At night in bed, Mickey would cry. He would try to stay silent. He would scream into his pillow until his voice was numb, his throat was raw and burning. Some nights it felt like he was screaming his lungs out as the tears fell down his face, like slow streams.

Mickey didn't want any of this to be happening.

Mickey blamed his mom. It was all her fault, if she hadn't started seeing Monica then she never would have-if she hadn't been so careless in the middle of the fucking street. But Mickey knew he shouldn't blame her, if she hadn't gone to Monica, she would continued to get beat up. She would have still been hurt. Mickey knew that she **had** to get out. If she hadn't gotten out, she would've ended up killing herself. Mickey heard her talking to herself once, when she thought no one as around. She told herself that if she just took all the pills in the bottle everything would go away. All the shit would stop. Mickey didn't understand what that meant at the time, but _**now **_he understood perfectly.

* * *

The second time Mickey tried to steal formula-he got caught.

He thought for sure something bad would happen, cops would come but they didn't.

It wasn't the old man or even the young kid that worked in the store that caught him. It was an older lady that Mickey didn't know, who clearly didn't recognize him as a Milkovich.

She asked him why he was stealing formula, he didn't know what to say.

"Mom left. Dad doesn't care. Baby sister needs them." He only said a few words. He didn't want to say anything stupid, that would get him introuble.

"How old are you?" The woman was nice, she seemed to genuinely care.

"Turned five a few weeks ago." The womans eyes widened slightly. Mickey could see the surprise in her eyes.

"Honey, you shouldn't be doing this. Don't you have anyone to help you?" Mickey just shook his head.

"I'll buy you all the stuff you need for your sister. You meet me here in this store every Thursday. You know what day that is right?" Mickey nodded. He didn't understand why this woman was being so nice to him.

"I'll buy formula and diapers and wipes and anything else you need. You need someone to help you, let it be me." Mickey was speachless, he didn't know what to say.

"T..th..thank you." He stuttered as he spoke, the woman just smiled.

The woman kept her promise, she was there waiting for Mickey in the Kash and Grab every Thursday.

But every time Mickey entered that store, he was terrified that she wouldn't be there.

* * *

_Note To Readers- How was that? Next chapter will be a few years later, and maybe, just maybe the boys will see eachother again :P -JJ_


	10. I Don't Know You

_Note to readers- Alright, I cannot for the life of me, remember if it was ever mentioned how old Mickey was when the incident in this chapter happened so I'm just going to "make up the age" So don't like bite my head off if it was said and I got it wrong, okay? Thanks. Also I'm sure you will all recognize the "incident" instantly, well as long as you payed attention in season 2 :P_

* * *

Mickey was seven. He hadn't thought about ginger hair, or cuddling or _kissing _in a long **really** time. That is until he was playing baseball.

He saw red hair, that was still familiar to him after almost three years. Red hair on second base. Mickey tried to ignore it, the ball was coming at him, he hit it as hard as he could, it went flying, he ran to first. The next kid that was up, Mickey didn't know the kid but he looked pretty fucking stupid, hit the ball, Mickey took off running toward second, the red haired boy began to run but stopped abruptly and began running back to second. Mickey didn't know what the fuck the kid was doing.

The umpire yelled something about having to go back to the base you were on. Mickey was pissed. So pissed that pulled his dick out and took a piss on first base.

He got kicked out of the game, they told him he couldn't play anymore if he was going to act inapropriately. Mickey didn't fucking care, he didn't even like baseball.

* * *

He didn't leave though, he stayed and waited for it to be over. Something was telling him to at least say hello to that familar red haired boy.

The game ended pretty quickly after he had pissed on the base.

He waited for the red haired boy to pass him, he yanked on the back of the kids shirt.

"Hey, what 're ya doing that for?" The boy was yelling.

"Oh shut up Gallagher." Ian whipped his head around and looked at Mickey.

"I don't know who you are, but you need to let go of me." Mickey was shocked, Ian didn't remember him. But Mickey really hadn't expected him to, the kid was only three when they were friend. No, Mickey reminded himself Ian was almost four then. He should remember. He has to remember.

Mickey wanted to make the kid remember, he wanted to pull him into a hug, wanted to _kiss_him. But Mickey couldn't do that, he knew one of his brothers would be around soon enough, they couldn't see him acting like a fag.

"Just let me go." Mickey did. He let go of Ian's shirt. The red head ran off.

Mickey's heart felt like it had been stomped on. But he wasn't supposed to care. He hadn't thought about Ian in so long; why did it hurt so much?

* * *

He saw Tony walking toward him.

"Time to go home dumbfuck." Mickey rolled his eyes but followed Tony home.

When they entered the house, Mickey was instantly attacked by almost four year old Mandy.

"Mitey." She always fucked his name up. Something about she couldn't make the "K" sound. Mickey thought it was pretty dumb.

"What do ya want Mandy?" She stared at him with wide eyes but didn't speak. Mickey _knew _what she wanted, and he wasn't fucking going to do it. No fucking way.

She continued to stare at him. He shook his head, her bottom lip stuck out. Mickey snorted and motioned for Mandy to follow him.

They went into Mickey's room and shut the door. Mandy always fucking wanted to do this shit, Mickey had stopped doing it when she had turned two, but she still some how managed to **make **him do it.

Mickey helped Mandy up onto the bed.

She snuggled into his pillows and blanket. She yawned.

Mickey layed down next to her, and began talking.

"Once upon a time there was a princess, " Mandy interrupted him.

"Was 'er name Mandy?" Mickey rubbed her back slightly.

"Yep. Anyway, there was this beautiful princess named Mandy. She had a big purple castle, with lots and lots of toys." Mickey told Mandy the same story almost every single time, but changed a few details, sometimes Mandy was an underwater princess like Ariel, sometimes the castle was pink, sometimes instead of toys she had lots of animals, but Mandy never seemed to notice that the store was always the same.

"Princess Mandy had an older brother, Prince Mickey," One time, Mandy had asked why Mitey was a 'rince, not a 'rincess, Mickey didn't know how to explain it to Mandy, he just told her that that was just the way it was. "Mickey protected princess Mandy." Mandy's breathing had evened out, she was definitey asleep, Mickey stopped telling the story. Mandy usually stayed awake long enough to atleast get to the part where the evil trolls, or whatever the fuck Mickey felt like calling them, tried to attack princess Mandy and prince Mickey saved her. Mandy must have been extra tired this time, she hadn't slept well the night before, she had come into Mickey's room pretty late, telling him that her tummy. Mickey let her lay with him, but she never did actually go back to sleep for more than ten minutes at a time.

Mickey knew he had to leave it was thursday, and he was supposed to meet _her _at the Kash and Grab.

Mickey slid out of the bed careful not wake up Mandy.

* * *

When he entered the Kash and Grab he looked all around for _her_, but she wasn't there. The only person Mickey saw was the younger boy who worked there. Mickey had found out a long time ago that his name was Kash, just like his dad, who owned the store.

The woman who had been helping him and Mandy was Kash's mom. Mickey could never pronounce her name, it was something really weird. Some how Mickey ended up calling her grandma.

Mickey began to panic, he needed to get some stuff for him and Mandy. But now he couldn't.

"My mom's sick, in the hospital." Kash spoke to Mickey.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" Kash laughed.

"You think I never noticed how you came in here **every** thursday, and **every **thursday my mom was here, I know she was buying you shit." Kash paused, as if daring Mickey to deny it. Mickey stayed silent.

"I don't know why she was so nice to _you_. But she told me that when you came in to let you get what ever you wanted and to pay for it myself. I don't want to. But mom told me to, so I will. So get what you want." Mickey was shocked, but he quickly grabbed what he wanted and needed for him and Mandy.

He got milk, Mandy loved the shit, it made Mickey kinda sick. He grabbed a shit ton of jello, Mickey fucking loved jello, he could live off of it. He got Mandy some cookies. He grabbed some other food, soup, chips, crackers, bread, peanut butter and ketchup, Mandy would eat ketchup on almost anything.

Mickey didn't want to fucking do it, but he was going to ask grandma, it felt weird refering to her as that now that he knew that Kash knew what had been going on, anyway.

"My sister was sick last night, stomach hurt. Should I get her medicine?" Kash seemed a bit shocked by how-nicely-Mickey was acting. All people assumed that just because his last name was Milkovich, he was rude, and he was but he _could _be nice.

Kash didn't speak, he walked out from behind the counter and grabbed some bottle of little kids medicine and took it back to the register. He set it on the counter.

Mickey made sure he had all that he needed then set it next to the medicine.

Kash rung everything up, and put it in bags. Before Mickey could go though, Kash spoke.

"How old is your sister?"

"Almost four." Kash nodded and picked the bottle of medicide up out of the bag, he held up the little cup that came with the bottle, he pointed to one of the lines on it.

"This is how much you give her. Give it to her before she goes to bed tonight, and if she still doesn't feel good give it to her tomorrow night too. But don't do it more than three nights in a row." Mickey nodded.

Mickey _knew _he should say thank you, but Mickey didn't thank people.

As he pushed the door open, he muttered a quick, "Thanks." As the door closed behind him, he thought he heard Kash say, "You're welcome."

* * *

Mickey always made sure that all the food that he bought, other than the milk, didn't need to be refridgerated, that way he could put it in his room, to make sure that he and Mandy actually got to eat it. Mickey knew that neither Terry or his brothers would drink the milk, so he didn't have to worry about it.

Mickey was terrified that they would find the food he hid in his room and eat it all. He was terrified that Mandy would starve. He didn't care whether he ate or not, all he cared about was Mandy.

* * *

_Note to readers- Please let me know what you thought. -JJ_


	11. Teach Me How To Fight

When Mandy was in first grade, some little cunt tried to punch her. Mickey's not ever really sure why, but that day when Mandy came home from school crying, asking for Mickey to hold her-which he really didn't want to fucking do, he had stopped doing that shit when she stared kindergarten Mickey did it though, because he loved Mandy.

He held her as she cried.

"Tell me about prince Mickey and princess Mandy." Mickey shook his head, though Mandy couldn't see him.

"C'mon Mands you don't wanna hear about them." He hadn't told a prince Mickey and princess Mandy story since she was four.

She sniffled and mumbled what Mickey thought sounded like, "Please." He couldn't say no to her.

"One day the evil witch Jessica tried to hurt princess Mandy. But prince Mickey protected the princess like he always did." He had mentioned an evil witch named Jessica before, he wasn't sure where he got the name from, but it just sounded right.

Mandy interrupted him, "Mickey, can you teach me how to protect myself?"

Did she really want to learn how to fight? That was a stupid question, if you were a Milkovich you needed to **know how **to fight, especially in this house.

"Yea, no problem."

* * *

Mickey showed Mandy how to punch some, he showed her the proper way to make a fist.

She learned quickly.

She even got in a good punch on Mickey, his lip was split and bleeding.

It reminded him of the times he had fought with Lip.

Why the fuck was he thinking about Gallagher's again? After the baseball incident he hadn't seen or thought about them at all.

He still remembers so clearly how it felt to hit Lip. How it felt when his fist connected with Lip's flesh.

He remembers how satisfying it was.

Mandy apologized three zillion times.

Some where around four zillion Mickey finally said more than, "It's okay."

"I'm fine Mandy. Fuck. I told you I'd teach you how to fight. You learned. Be proud." She still looked upset but didn't say anything more.

* * *

Mickey had stopped going to the Kash and Grab for things he and Mandy needed about a year ago.

Grandma, Kash's mom, had gotten out of the hospital all was well, but she was on some pills, despite that she was still there every thursday.

But then one day, she wasn't there, and Kash said nothing.

The next week she wasn't there again, this time Kash spoke, "My mom's not going to be coming anymore, she's sick. She's not taking her meds right. And I'm not paying for shit for a Milkovich." That was it, that was the end.

Now when Mickey or Mandy needed something, he went further from home, and stole what he needed.

* * *

It was a friday, Mickey couldn't wait to get home, he fucking hated school, he wasn't even sure why he actually went, probably because he didn't want to get in trouble with like the bitch who did attendance at school, 'cause that bitch could get cops involved and that could end up with social workers coming, and Mickey didn't want to be separated from Mandy.

School had just ended Mickey was walking around the back of the school, he really wasn't sure why, he just thought it would be quicker to get home instead of walking around the block.

He heard crying. Normally he wouldn't have fucking cared, but _something _made him look for the person who was crying.

He saw five boys, who all looked a bit older than he was standing over _someone_, Mickey couldn't see who the person on the ground was, but he **knew** it was the person that was crying, and he **knew **it was a boy.

Mickey knew he should have just fucking walked away, but again _something _made him stay and help. If you asked him, he would say that he stayed, and helped the kid because he was still feeling bad from when Mandy got hurt at school, but that really wasn't why.

Mickey punched one of the five boys in the back of his head, the kid went down instantly. As soon as the other four saw their friend fall, they quickly turned their attention to Mickey.

Mickey punched one in the face, he tried to punch Mickey back, that didn't work, Mickey punched him in the dick.

Mickey kept dodging punches, one landed on his fucking nose, it hurt like a bitch, and his nose was bleeding instantly, but he didn't stop fighting.

The two he had already hit, were long gone, they had gotten up crying and ran off.

The boy was still laying on the ground bleeding and crying.

Mickey punched the biggest boy in the face, he felt the boy's nose crunch under his fist. He heard it too, he was surprised that it was so loud.

The other boy, the only one that Mickey hadn't hit took off running when he heard the crunch.

Mickey was panting slightly out of breath, his face and shirt were covered in blood. His knuckles were already beginning to bruise, and were smeared with blood.

He knelt next to the boy, to ask if he was okay.

That's when Mickey realized who this boy was.

Bright red hair, big blue eyes. Covered in blood and the beginnings of bruises.

He had just fought off five boys, for Ian fucking Gallagher.

"Hey, Gallagher, you okay?" The red-head groaned, looked like he was unconscious.

Mickey knew he couldn't fucking just leave him there.

Mickey wasn't sure if he'd be able to pick him up, but he tried.

Ian was pretty fucking light, Mickey had no problem at all carrying him. He certainly wasn't going to carry Gallagher all the way to his house, and he wasn't taking Ian to his fucking house, fuck that, his brothers would have a field day.

He guessed the most logically option was to place Ian's unconscious body on the cement in front of the school. He knew the teachers wouldn't all be gone yet, they would find Ian, they would help him.

* * *

That night laying in bed, Mickey stared at the bruises on his knuckles, and felt the throbbing pain in his nose, it was definitely broken.

Thoughts of that broken, bleeding, unconscious red-head flooded his mind.

He couldn't get that image out of his head.

He hoped that someone had found him, helped him.

He was terrified that no one had.

* * *

_Note To Readers- Review, tell me your thoughts :) -JJ_


	12. It Ain't Happening

When Mickey was twelve, he somehow became _friends _with Lip. He's really not sure how it happened. All he really knows is that he was smoking a cigarette when Lip came up to him. He asked Mickey if he could have a cigarette, Mickey didn't want to give one up, but he thought fuck it, I've got more at home.

After that Lip and him started hanging out, smoking cigarettes, ocassionally smoking a joint together.

Their friendship ended the night that Lip brought Ian with him.

Mickey had stolen a bottle of cheap vodka last time he had stolen shit for him and Mandy.

He planned on drinking with Lip, who was bringing the weed. But Lip didn't bring just the weed, Mickey saw red hair behind Lip.

"What the fuck is he doing here?" It's not that Mickey didn't want Ian around, he could give a shit less whether or not he was there; Mickey's problem was that he didn't want Ian to drink or get high. The kid was to young, Mickey snorted at that thought, Ian was only like a year younger than he was, but in the back of his mind Mickey still saw him as the little three year old who loved to cuddle, the little broken bleeding boy that Mickey had found behind the school.

"Fi told me I had to bring him with me, Monica's gone fucking crazy and Frank's no fucking help. She has to take care of Debbie, so she told me I had to take care of Ian." Mickey rolled his eyes.

"He ain't drinking." Lip laughed.

"Why the fuck not?" Mickey needed to think of a reason fast or he was fucked.

"He ain't drinking, 'cause I like my booze, you're lucky I'm sharing with you."

"Whatever, he's never drank before anyway, he'll just end up taking a hit or two off the joint and he'll be done." Mickey didn't want Ian doing that either, but he couldn't prevent it, the weed wasn't his.

Mickey had drank over half the bottle, and in all honesty had probably smoked more of the joint then Lip had.

When Ian had taken a drag off the joint, the kid coughed and coughed, and Mickey thought it was going to cough his fucking lungs up.

Ian's eyes were glassey and his face was flushed. The red-head tried to take the bottle from Mickey's hand.

Mickey swatted his hand away.

He slurred slightly, "Don' touch my fuckin' booze."

Ian whined.

"Just fucking stop Ian." Mickey wasn't sure how or when Lip had gotten so mad, but it was sudden.

"Leave 'im alone Gallagher." Mickey was yelling, he wasn't even sure why.

Lip and Mickey yelled back and forth for a few minutes, Ian stayed quite the entire time.

Lip stormed off, yelling that he was fucking sick of it, he was done. To Mickey's surprise, Ian didn't follow him.

Ian stayed sitting there next to Mickey.

* * *

Mickey didn't talk to Lip again after that. Ian had tried to come hang out with him a few times after, but Mickey just grunted and told Ian that he was busy. After his third or fourth attempt, he gave up.

* * *

Mickey thought about that night often, he didn't think about the fight with Lip, or the fact that he had let Ian drink the rest of the booze after Lip had left, he thought about Ian's face, about how he felt when Ian showed up with Lip. He thought about why he didn't let Ian hang out with him after that, and the only reason he could come up with was, he was scared.

He didn't want to get fucking attached to Ian _again_. He didn't want to have those feelings like he did when he was younger. He didn't want to _hurt _again.

* * *

Mickey was terrified that if he started having feelings for Ian **again**, he would only end up hurt **again**. Mickey _couldn't _have feelings for Ian again, because he couldn't be a fag.

He still didn't fucking understand why being a fag was so fucking wrong, but he didn't want to risk it. He didn't want his brothers or his dad to kill him if they found out.

Mickey wasn't willing to risk his life for _cock_.

* * *

Mickey lost his virginity when he was fourteen. He fucked some bitch, he's not even really sure what her name was, he thinks it was Alice or something, but really he wasn't sure.

It was pretty fucking terrible. Her nearly non-existant tits, the wet stickiness of her cunt, Mickey didn't fucking like it.

Sure, he came, but only because he was thinking about how different it would be if his cock was in someones ass. He found himself thinking about red hair and freckles.

* * *

Mickey saw Ian Gallagher naked when he was almost sixteen, somehow they had been put into the same gym class. Mickey wasn't even sure why he was even in that fucking locker room, he hadn't gone to gym class in two weeks, but that day _something _made him go.

Ian was changing, it was before the actual class started.

After Mickey saw him, he left the locker room, he left the school, all he could think about was Ian's cock. He wanted that cock in his mouth. In his ass. He just wanted to fucking touch it.

* * *

That night, after Mickey had seen Ian naked, he jerked off. It was like his dick wouldn't go soft, thoughts of Ian's cock wouldn't leave his mind. When he closed his eyes, he could see it.

That fucking terrified him, why was he so fucking obsessed with Ian Gallagher's cock?

The next day, he fucked some guy, he was younger than Mickey was and smaller. It felt so good to be buried balls deep in the younger boy.

Mickey threatened the kid, tld him that he'd fucking kill him if he ever told anyone what they had done.

Mickey _**knew **_the kid wouldn't tell.

* * *

_Note to readers- Okay so that didn't go how I planned but I think I like it..what do you think? -JJ_


	13. We Don't Touch

_Note to readers- There is going to be some dialog in this that actually happened in the show, but I am entirely to lazy to go search for that exact part in the episodes so you're just going to have to deal with it, if it is slightly off, I am going off my memory here._

* * *

Over the next year, Mickey fucked at least sixty different guys. He **always** fucked them, they **never** fucked him. Mickey wanted to know what it felt like to have someone _inside _him, but he didn't just want someone, he wanted a boy with red hair, freckles, blue eyes, he wanted Ian.

Mickey gave up on going to stroes farther away, and began shoplifting at the Kash and Grab again. Kash never tried to stop him, his cunt wife Linda did though, but really what the fuck was she going to do?

Ian had tried to stop him from stealing a time or two, that had been a fucking failure. The one time Mickey chucked a container of dip at the red-head. He laughed for days over the look on the kids face.

The next time he went into the Kash and Grab fucking Kash pulled a gun on him, Mickey didn't freak out-Kash was a fucking pussy, he wasn't going to shoot him, and it wasn't like Mickey had never been around a gun before. He grabbed it outta Kash's hand, grabbed two packs of cigarettes and the chips he had been stealing and walked out.

* * *

When Ian woke him up with the tire iron looking for Kash's gun, that was what really did it for Mickey.

He had been out the night before, he was still a bit drunk when Gallagher woke him up.

He had failed at getting laid the night before, and having Ian under him just made the sexual frustration explode.

He initially was going to fuck Gallagher, he wanted Ian to fuck him, but he didn't think Ian would.

Ian surprised him, by taking the lead.

He hadn't expected Ian to fuck him. He hadn't expected it to feel so fucking good.

* * *

After he and Ian had fucked, Mickey couldn't stop thinking about it.

He wanted **more**. He wanted so much more.

A few days later, he went to the Kash and Grab when he knew Ian was working, and they fucked again.

That continued for awhile, with the occasional fuck in his bed when Ian was at his house, some how Ian and Mandy had become best friends.

* * *

Mickey was sitting on the couch, slushy on the table in front of him and box controller in his hand, his game was interrupted by pounding on the door.

When he opened the door he was face to face with Ian. Did the kid have to fucking work? Ian couldn't come in, this wasn't a good time to fuck, Iggy was home, and Tony would be back at any minute.

"Not a good time." Ian was out of breath, and looked pretty fucking upset.

"I need to see you."

"Aren't you supposed to be at work?"

"Yeah, I'm supposed to be there now, Linda's gonna have my ass." Mickey rolled his eyes.

"I'll be there in twenty." Mickey shut the door and Ian took off toward the Kash and Grab.

* * *

When Mickey got to the Kash and Grab, the front door was locked, he went to the back, it was open.

At first he couldn't find Ian, but he could hear a bit of-what sounded like-sniffling.

He found Ian slumped on the floor behind the counter.

"Gallagher?" Ian looked up at him, with wide eyes full of tears.

Mickey wanted to roll his eyes, tell Ian to suck it up, but he didn't. Instead Mickey sat down on the floor next to Ian.

Neither of them spoke. But Ian leaned a bit, and layed his head on Mickey's shoulder.

Mickey's head told him to push Ian off of him, but his heart told him not to. He was Mickey Milkovich for fucks sake, he wasn't supposed to be affectionate, he wasn't supposed to let people touch him.

He couldn't see Ian's face, but he knew that the red-head's tears had begun to fall.

Mickey really didn't now what to say, so he said nothing.

"She came back." Ian's broken, sad voice startled Mickey, had had been staring at a chip in the tiled floor.

"Who?" Mickey had heard that Monica had taken off a while ago, but he wasn't sure that was who Ian was talking about.

Ian snorted, "Monica." Mickey nodded, even though Ian couldn't see him, his head was still resting on Mickey's shoulder, so Mickey assumed that Ian could feel him nod.

Nothing more was said, Ian's hnad came in contact with Mickey's crotch. Mickey was already half hard when he got there, his entire walk there he had been thinking about Ian inside him.

Ian was rubbing him through the slightly thick material of his jeans. Mickey tried not to make any noise, Mickey didn't make noise when he was fucking.

Ian's hand left his crotch abruptly, Mickey _almost _protested when Ian grabbed his hand and pulled him up.

Ian led him into the cooler, they had fucked in there once or twice before, but somehow this was different.

* * *

Mickey was so close, _so fucking close_.

Kash opened the cooler door, Mickey did the only thing he could think to do, he yanked his pants up and fucking ran.

He didn't know where to run, but he knew he wasn't running home.

He ended up _somewhere _under the El.

He pulled out a cigarette and tried to calm himself down.

Half a pack of cigarettes later Mickey was calm again.

He knew he needed to go back to the Kash and Grab, he told himself that he was only going back because he was making sure Kash was gonna keep his fucking mouth shut, but really he was going back to make sure Ian was okay.

When he entered the store, again, he didn't see Ian, but he quickly noticed the red-head sweeping.

"Yea, 'sright you keep your mouth shut." He grabbed a snicker's bar and ripped it open.

"I like 'em sweet, but so do you." Mickey was taunting Kash, it was funny.

As Mickey took a bite, he saw Kash pull the gun.

"Put the candy back Mickey." Kash was trying to sound intimiadting, it wasn't working.

He heard Kash cock the gun, his heart rate sped up a bit.

"I said put the candy back." What the fuck? Kash pulled the trigger, he missed.

"It's a fuckin' snicker's bar." Kash pulled the trigger again, this time it hit. Mickey went down, the candy fell from his hand.

Ian ran toward him, asking if he was okay.

"You fucking suck!" Mickey was in pain, and he was fucking pissed.

Mickey _may _have blacked out after that, because he had no idea what happened after the cops were called and he was being given morphine while laying, handcuffed, in a hospital bed.

* * *

_Note to readers- Alright that took longer than I expected to get up. My brother was putting a new computer desk together for my mom and he screwed up the wifi, and it just got fixed. Sorry. The next chapter is actually almost fullen written, but I won't be putting it up until tomorrow. Let me know what you thought. And again, I am going off of memory for what was said in these scenes, so if I got it a little wrong, __**I am sorry**__. -JJ_


	14. It Was Just Candy

_Note to readers- Alright, I have __**never**__ been in Juvie, so I really don't know what it's like in there, but I have watched the MTV show Juvies, and I have watched Lock Up the underage edition so I have basic knowledge of what it looks like/what goes on in there._

* * *

Mickey spent about a week handcuffed to that fucking hospital bed. While handcuffed the only thing he wanted was for it to be over. He wanted to be able to fucking move around and not be _chained _to a fucking hospital bed.

But once that week ended he wanted nothing more than to be handcuffed to that bed again, as soon as he was deemed healthy enough, he was transfered into the unit. The small one person cell, with no window, a small "bed" against the wall. The mattress was so fucking thin, it was no better than sleeping on the hard concret that it sat on.

Mickey was still in a bit of pain from the fucking bullet hole in his leg, and when he need to walk anywhere he had to use fucking crutches. It was bullshit. All over a fucking candy bar.

* * *

Mickey had only been in juvie once before, it was back when he was fourteen. Fucking fight, of course. He got sent to juvie, and so did Iggy. Mickey had been fighting with some dickhead at school, when Iggy stepped in and started beating the shit outta the guy, not that Mickey wasn't handling it well enough by himself.

He had only been in juvie for a few days, it was his first _actual _offense-more like first time he got caught.

Mickey was young then, he hadn't realized how fucking boring it was in juvie. He hadn't realized how much time you had to think while you were locked up.

Mickey had to go to court, he got sentenced to a year. When he heard that he damn near lost his shit and flipped the table in front of him.

He didn't want to fucking sit there for a year.

* * *

Mickey was injured, so it was easier to just sit in his cell all the time, walking fucking sucked.

During meal time, there was this guy, big fucking Irish guy, every day he _tried _to steal Mickey's jello. Mickey wasn't about to let anyone touch his fucking jello.

About a week after he was transfered into the unit, Ian came to see him.

It was-weird. Ian told him that he missed him and shit. Mickey just thanked him for putting money on his account. He found out Kash did it, which was pretty fucking weird, but he thought Mickey still might press charges, so whatever, Mickey didn't really give a shit who he got the moeny from.

Ian was all mushy, tried putting his hand on the glass and shit, Mickey couldn't have that happen, couldn't let the other guys know he liked it up the ass.

* * *

Once Mickey's leg was all healed and he could start working out, he only worked out because it was better than sitting around bored out of his fucking mind, he did it every chance he got.

When he was working out it he didn't have to think about anything other than how many reps he had done or how much more weight he could lift.

But some days Mickey couldn't work out, his leg would ache or he just felt too lazy. On those days, Mickey sat in his cell, and just thought.

Some days he thought about Ian, some days he thought about Mandy, some days he thought about why a candy bar was so fucking important to Kash.

Why was a candy bar so important? Mickey couldn't figure it out, and then one day it hit Mickey, like a ton of bricks.

Kash hadn't shot him because of the fucking candy bar, oh no, the candy bar had just been the straw that broke his back.

Kash had shot Mickey because he was jealous.

Jealous of Mickey's relationship with _his _own mother, jealous of Mickey's attitude, jealous of Mickey's relationship with Ian.

Kash was jealous of Mickey.

It had never been about the candy bar, it had been about Kash's mom taking care of Mickey for so many years, it had been about how Mickey was so _shameless_, Mickey's "don't-give-a-fuck" attitude, it had been about how Ian had stopped fucking Kash and started fucking Mickey.

Mickey knew that Ian was fucking Kash before him, he hadn't caught them or anything; he just tell by the way Kash looked at Ian. Mickey really didn't give a fuck that he had _stopped _that-relationship.

Ian could do so much better than fucking Kash. Hell Mickey knew Ian could do better than him, he didn't want to admit that Ian could be-should be with someone better than him.

* * *

Mandy came to see him a few times, their visits were always so short, and Mandy never had much to say to him, she would always fawn over Ian, telling Mickey what a great boyfriend he was and all kinds of stupid shit. Mickey wondered if Mandy knew that Ian was gay, he wondered if she knew that they had been fucking? He guessed not, since she had never said anything.

Ian had come to visit him a total of six times, and each time Ian did the same thing, tried to put his fucking hand on the glass, and told him that he missed him. And every time Ian did it, Mickey told him the same thing, "Get your hand off the glass." and "Say that again and I'll rip your tongue outta your mouth." But Ian knew that Mickey would **never **do that to him, so he continued to do it.

* * *

On quite a few nights Mickey found his thoughts wandering to Ian, more specifically Ian's cock.

Mickey really didn't want to jerk off in juvie, but fuck it, he did it anyway.

It was pretty awkward, at least he had his own cell, so he wasn't doing at with anyone else in the room.

Mickey would pull the thin, uncomfortable juvie issue "pajama pants" down slightly, he'd spit in his hand and jerk himself off until he came, Ian's name on his lips.

* * *

Mickey was supposed to be getting out in a week. He was trying to be "a good boy" that didn't actually work, not when that fucking mick kept trying to steal his jello. Mickey ended up stabbing him with a fucking plastic fork. It barely broke the skin, there wasn't even any blood.

But it earned Mickey another week.

He was pretty pissed about that, but what-the-fuck-ever. He'd been in there for almost a year anyway, what's one more week?

* * *

_Note to readers- I had a shit tone more that I wanted to write about Kash's jealously, but it just wasn't working. I just couldn't write it. Sorry 'bout that. -JJ_


	15. To The Dugout

Mickey was finally free. The first person he saw when he walked out the door, was Ian fucking Gallagher, standing next to Mandy.

Mickey knew that Mandy was coming to "pick him up" He hadn't expected Ian to come with her, not that he didn't want to see him, he just didn't expect it.

He asked what Ian was doing there, the red-head told him he had to "protect" Mandy.

Mickey laughed, and made a joke about how Mandy could handle herself, a fact that Mickey took pride in-because he had **taught **Mandy how to protect herself.

Mickey twisted Mandy's nipple, making her squeel. They had a-strange relationship, they were overly close, but that was expected, Mickey had been taking care of Mandy since he was four.

"What did dad tell you?"

"Fuck the police?" He finally let go.

"No more titty-twisters now that I'm a c-cup." Mickey snorted.

"C-cup? Bitch you wish." Mandy glared at him, but Mickey knew she wasn't really mad at him.

Mickey started yelling at all the guards, "Fuck you, fuck you, and especially fuck you." Ian put his hand on Mickey's shoulder, and told him to go.

Mickey of course listened, he told himself that it wasn't because Ian told him to, he told himself that he only went so he could get as far away from that fucking building as possible.

As the three walked away Ian put his arm around Mickey's shoulders, Mickey couldn't have that happen, he shrugged Ian's arm off of him.

* * *

When they got close the the Milkovich house, Ian said goodbye and headed the other way, toward the Kash and Grab, he had to work.

When they entered the house, the familar smell of stale cigarettes and cheap beer damn near overwhelmed Mickey, for the last year he had been smelling-prison.

Mandy made a b-line for her room, while Mickey headed for his.

As soon as he was inside, and the door was shut, he grabbed the pack of cigarettes he had hidden between his mattress and the wall; couldn't risk his brothers or Terry stealing them.

He hadn't had a proper smoke in a fucking **year**. He chain smoked half the pack, before he actually realized what he was doing.

Mickey didn't know what to do, he had just wasted a half hour chain smoking, Ian was at work so he couldn't go get fucked, Terry was passed out on the couch so playing xbox wasn't an option either.

Mickey wanted to fucking do something, he just didn't know what.

As Mickey tried to figure out what to do, he fell asleep.

* * *

When Mickey woke up, it was just starting to get dark outside.

Mickey groaned after realizing that he had slept, _instead _of doing _anything_.

He found his cellphone and checked the time, it was nearly nine, Ian got off work at nine.

Mickey decided to head to the Kash and Grab.

He'd-surprise Ian.

As he went to leave the room, he realized he was still in the clothes he had been when he left juvie, the same clothes he had been in when he was transfered from the hospital unit to the cell block.

He was going to change, but thought fuck it. He didn't give a shit about wearing dirty clothes, and Ian _**knew**_ he wasn't a-clean person. Mickey didn't like taking showers, it was just faster to not; but because of that he _always_had a visable layer of dirt on him, and his clothes were frequently stained or coated in sticky usually unrecognizable substances.

Mickey made sure his cigarettes, buttterfly knife and phone were in his pocket, and he left.

By the time he reached the Kash and Grab it was five minutes to nine.

The store was completely empty save Ian.

"What're you doin' here?" Ias smirked at Mickey, who said nothing, just smirked back.

Mickey walked toward the cooler, he grabbed a couple beers.

Ian locked up the store, shut the lights off and Mickey followed him out the back. They paused for a moment, Ian locked the back door.

"Where we headed?" Mickey shook his head.

"Follow me."

* * *

He lead Ian to the dugout, the same baseball field where he had pissed on first base.

They talked for a bit, Mickey got bored quick, they shotgunned a beer together, Ian dribbled a bit more than he did.

Ian kept fucking talking though.

"You wanna chit-chat or you wanna get on me?" Ian stopped talking imediately.

And in seconds they were fucking. Mickey didn't need any prep, Ian just slid into him.

Mickey gritted his teeth, and tried not to cry out. It was so hard not to, Ian pounding into him felt so fucking good. He grunted a bit. Ian was moaning quite a bit, kid sounded like he was already about to cum.

Ian had **never** been _this _fast, kid must not have gotten laid while Mickey was locked up. But that was absurd, surely Ian had fucked someone. Mickey could feel Ian beginning to release inside of him, and that was the end, Mickey came all over the wall of the dugout.

Fuck, kid must not have gotten laid, he came like a fucking virgin, but then again so did Mickey.

"AHH! I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO DO THAT HERE!"

* * *

Mickey cracked open another beer, chugged about half of it then began to take short sips, he wanted it to last.

It was mentioned that Mickey had pissed on first base, Mickey wasn't even sure if Ian remembered that, but he certainly did. He told Mickey how he had been on second. Mickey smirked, Mickey had remembered where Ian was that day, he remembered everything that he had ever done that involved Ian.

* * *

Ian was being a fucking show off, doing fucking pull ups. Mickey couldn't let Ian be _better _than him.

As soon as Ian hopped down, Mickey hopped up and started doing then, just as fast and easily as Ian had been.

Ian showed a look of shock, Mickey hopped down and lit a cigarette, which Ian tried to steal.

"Nothing to do in the joint except work out." Ian was playing with his butterfly knife, flipping it open and closed, something Mickey used to do constantly, but something about the way Ian did it was-sexy.

Ian started talking again, Mickey wasn't exactly paying attention, something about sneaking into a baseball game or some-fucking-thing.

"Can't. Gotta get a job." Mickey went on about how he **had** to do it, as part of his probation, if he didn't he'd be sent back to juvie. Mickey didn't particularly want to go there, _again_.

Ian suggested that he get a job at the Kash and Grab. Was the kid fucking insane? Get a job where he was shot at.

He said so, Ian said it might be a good idea.

"How about security? Ya know, making sure guys like me don't rob the place."

Ian started talking again, Mickey wasn't paying attention, he was getting hard again.

"You..uh wanna go again firecrotch? Or do you need some time?" Mickey had barely finished his sentence when Ian pushed him so he was bent over.

Neither came quite as fast the second time, but they definitely didn't last as long as they normally did.

* * *

By the time Mickey got home it was one, everyone was asleep, or in Terry and Tony's cases passed out.

Mickey went into his room, he wasn't fucking tired but he layed on the bed anyway.

He could still feel Ian's cock inside of him, he still felt _full_. There was a dull ache as well, but it wasn't uncomfortable, not at all. In fact, it was making him hard again.

Mickey pushed himself up off the bed, emptyied his jean pockets and changed into some relatively clean sweats.

His cock was already straining against the material of his boxers, but Mickey ignored it, he was far to lazy to jerk off, especially after being fucked by Ian _**four **_fucking times.

Mickey groaned and laid down again.

He stared at the ceiling for awhile, until the naked bitches tits were making him sick.

He flipped onto his stomach and buried his face in the pillow.

Despite not being tired, he was asleep within minutes.

* * *

_Note to readers- I __**know**__ I got the "Dugout Dialouge" and a few small "Dugout Details" incorrect but whatever, it's-close. Let me know what you thought. -JJ_


	16. Secrets feat Jamie Milkovich

Mickey woke up around noon, everyone was gone. He had to fend for himself for food. Mickey was a shit cook. He settled for cold left over pizza. Could've been from the night before or a week before he wasn't sure, but it still tasted good and there wasn't any mold or anything on it so what the hell, it wasn't gonna kill him or anything.

He had nothing to do all day, he wasn't allowed to start work at the Kash & Grab for a week. And Ian had work 'til six.

* * *

Jamie showed up at around one thirty.

"Where's Terry?"

"Fuck if I know. He was passed out when I got home last night, gone when I got up." Jamie rolled his eyes and heded for the kitchen.

Mickey heard the fridge open and close before Jamie plopped down on the couch next to him.

* * *

Out of all of his brothers, Jamie was the only one that he slightly liked. They were all dickheads and he didn't trust 'em for shit. But Jamie wasn't _as_bad.

See Jamie was only Mickey's half brother. Terry got some chick knocked up a couple years before he met Mickey's mom. Jamie grew up with his mom somewhere outside of Chicago.

When Jamie was sixteen she died and Jamie came looking for Terry. When he found out what a piece of shit Terry was and wanted nothing to do with him.

But then he met his brothers and sister and changed his mind. He got a place in Chicago and let his siblings crash with him if they neded to.

Mickey had stayed with him a few times, he even hid from the cops at Jamie's once.

Once Jamie started spending time with the rest of the brothers he changed. When they first met him, Jamie wasn't exactly stuck-up but he wasn't like the rest of the family that was for fucking sure.

He wasn't a rich kid or anything like that he just wasn't used to South Side.

Tony and Iggy made sure that changed prett fucking quick.

Jamie started joining the pair when they knocked off liquor stores or beat the shit outta kids for no reason.

Jamie never participated in what Tony and Iggy called, fag hunting. He said he didn't approve of the shit. That pissed off Tony and Iggy so fucking bad they almost went after Jamie.

But Jamie covered his fucking ass and told them that he didn't fucking like fags but he didn't want to hurt the fucking fairies. Let 'em get fucked up the ass, get a fucking disease and die. Don't get sent to fucking prison for kicking their asses. Ya don't wanna accidently kill one and end up with a manslaughter charge.

Mickey didn't exactly buy that shit but he never asked Jamie about it.

Didn't want Jamie to find out he liked takin' it up the ass.

* * *

Jamie popped open can of beer, took a long drink, belched and grabbed Mickey's cigarettes off the table.

"He fuckin' owes me money. I don't fuckin' know why I loaned it to him. You'd think I'd have fuckin' learned all the other times right?" Cigarette hanging out of his mouth the entire time he was talking.

Mickey lit his own cigarette and laughed.

"Gotta be smart Jamie." Jamie snorted.

"So how ya been baby brother? Heard ya just gotta outta juvie."

"Same shit different day. And you know how juvie goes so." Mickey ran his tongue across his lower lip and took a drag off his cigarette.

Mickey couldn't remember the last time he'd had an actual conversation with one of his brothers.

Hell to be honest he didn't think he ever had.

"I haven't ever been in juvie you know that you little shit head." Jamie laughed.

"Ah that's right, you're the _good_brother." Mickey smirked and put his cigarette out.

Mickey turned the xbox on, some fucking game called Skyrim was in. Mickey hadn't heard of it but it looked pretty bad ass.

Ten mintues into game play and he was killin' a fucking dragon.

This was a game Mickey could learn to like.

* * *

An hour went by and Jamie was still next to him on the couch workin' on his third beer, silently watching Mickey play. Mickey guessed he was waiting to see if Terry was gonna show up.

"So Mick, you got a girlfriend?" Mickey ignored the questioned, preteneding to be too caught up in the game.

"I know ya heard me Mickey. I'll take your silence as a no."

Mickey continued playing.

"How 'bout a boyfriend then?" Jamie laughed as he spoke.

Mickey almost dropped the controller. He hoped that Jamie hadn't noticed.

"Fuck Mickey." Apparently he had.

Mickey felt nauseous but said nothing to defend himself.

Mickey saved the game shut it off.

Jamie said nothing for a long time.

* * *

Mickey hadn't got his ass kicked by Jamie. Jamie had even promised not to say anything about it.

Mickey was-surprised to say the least.

Jamie had told him things that Mickey hadn't even thought were possible.

Jamie was-was like Mickey.

It made sense now why Jamie never participated in fag hunting.

But still Mickey could hardly believe it.

Jamie left shortly after their conversation, he told Mickey that if he saw Terry tell him that he was lookin' for him.

* * *

Mickey headed for the Gallagher house. He knew Ian was off work by now and he knew that the red-head would be home.

He knew it was stupid going over there, buthe felt like he _had _too.

* * *

_Alright so how was that? Shit? Good? Write me a review pleeeeease. Keep an eye out, I've got three or four Shameless fics that are almost done that should be up soon. -Jimmy_


	17. Strip For Me

As Mickey walked to the Gallagher house he couldn't help but think about what he had talked about with Jamie. And what would happen if Jamie ratted him out and told Terry or Tony or Iggy or Joey or Nickey; but Jamie wouldn't do that-he wouldn't risk Mickey letting his secret spill as well. Jamie wasn't that stupid, was he?

Mickey sure as fuck hoped not.

Mickey stood outside the Gallagher house for a long time contemplating whether or not he was going in. The choice was taken from him when Fiona walked up behind him.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

"Your fucking brother owes me money. I came to collect." Mickey came up with a lie pretty quick, it was a good lie, a believable lie.

Fiona didn't say anything just ushered him inside the house. Mickey wanted to go find Ian but this wasn't his house and he didn't want to get his ass kicked by Fiona for running all over _her_ house.

"Which one ya looking for?"

"Ian." Short and simple, he didn't wanna be talking to her anymore than he needed to.

"He's probably up in his room. Don't at blood on anything, it's a bitch to clean up." Mickey sorta stared at her like she'd lost her fucking mind.

Mickey didn't wait to see if she'd say anything else, he headed up the stairs.

He didn't bother knocking, he didn't give a fuck what Ian was doing.

As it turns out the redhead was napping. And Mickey couldn't resist the urge of fucking with him.

He pulled the pillow out from under Ian's head and pulled the blanket over Ian's face before he jumped on top of Ian so he was sitting on top of the squirming redhead.

"What the fuck? Get off me!" Mickey started bouncing on Ian, he felt like he was little again, playing with Ian. Ian got one good shove in and Mickey went tumbling to the floor.

"Dick."

"What the fuck Mick? You jump on me and try to kill me and I get called the dick?"

"Obviously dumbass."

"So what're you doing here?"

"I can't just come see you?"

"We'll yeah I guess but-wait how'd you even get in here? Please tell me you didn't pick the lock."

Mickey snorted and laughed, "Told your sister you owe me money. She told me not to get blood on anything."

"Fi right?"

Mickey rolled his eyes.

"So I better have some money when I leave here so she doesn't get suspicious." Ian laughed and threw a couple ones at Mickey.

"The fuck? I ain't a stripper."

"You're hot enough."

"Fuck off."

"C'mon strip for me."

"Yer fucking crazy."

"Please." Ian was giving Mick 'the puppy' look-Mickey couldn't resist that shit but he'd try.

"Fuck off."

"C'mon Mick strip for me."

"No fucking way.

"Mick please." Ian whined.

"Fuck no. I'm not getting caught by your bitch sister, or your nosy sister, or your annoying brother or your sociopath brother."

"We won't get caught."

"Not risking that shit."

"You're no fun."

"Fuck it, I'll see ya at work tomorrow." Mickey headed for the door.

Ian grabbed him by the waist from behind.

"Let go."

"Uh-uh."

"Gallagher off." Mickey's tone was warning but not harsh.

"Make me." Mickey threw his shoulders back knocking Ian off of him And causing the redhead to land on his ass on the floor.

"Jerk."

"Bitch."

Ian had this look at his face, Mickey found it hard to decipher, it was playful yet angry, full of lust and a hint of drowsiness.

Mickey wanted to pounce on the younger boy.

"C'mere Mick."

"No."

"Mickey."

"This door lock?"

"No."

"Then no."

"Move the dresser."

"You move it."

"No."

Fuck it, there was a chair sitting there-closer than the dresser and easier to move-Mickey pushed the chair underneath the doorknob effectively preventing the door from being opened. Then Mickey pounced on Ian.

"Clothes off, now." Mickey pulled at Ian's shirt before yanking his own off.

Mickey bit down on Ian's clavicle. He was biting and sucking gently.

Ian popped the button on Mickey's jeans then slid the zipper down making a loud 'zzz' sound.

"Ugh Mick less biting more touching."

Mickey slid his hand inside Ian's sweat pants and gripped the redhead's cock without his teeth leaving Ian's collar.

Mickey lifted his hips and kicked his pants off, he was completely naked; he'd been lazy when he got dressed and hadn't put boxers on.

Ian wriggled around under Mickey trying to get his sweats and boxers off without Mickey moving off of him or releasing Ian's cock. Ian wasn't succeeding.

Mickey bit down hard before standing and yanking Ian up with him. He shoved Ian's pants down before pushing the redhead back on the bed.

Mickey climbed on top of Ian, so he was straddling him.

Ian's cock was pushed against Mickey's ass.

"C'mon Gallagher. Fuck me." Mickey pushed back as Ian thrust up. Ian slid into Mickey easily.

Mickey set a fast pace, bouncing on Ian's cock as he held in moans and groans and tried not to pull stupid faces.

Ian met every one of Mickey's thrusts. Ian was struggling to stay quiet.

Mickey put his hand over Ian's mouth as a particularly loud moan escaped. Mickey hoped no one had heard.

Mickey could feel his climax approaching-fast. Ian must've sensed it because he wrapped his hand around Ian's member and began stroking at an agonizingly slow pace.

Mickey bit down on his bottom lip-drawing blood-in an attempt to stop himself from yelling at Ian to hurry the fuck up; _definitely_ not to stop himself from screaming out in pleasure.

Ian's hand stuttered to a stop on Mickey's cock. Mickey _almost_ whined.

Ian bit Mickey's palm as he came, deep inside him.

The sensation of Ian's hot cum spurting inside him-against his prostate along with the feeling of Ian's teeth digging into the sensitive skin of his palm triggered Mickey's climax.

White pearly streaks covered Ian's hand, belly and chest.

Mickey tried not to but he collapsed on top of Ian. Covering himself in his own sticky cum and smearing it all over Ian.

Mickey saw it coming but did nothing to stop it; Ian pressed his lips against Mickey's.

It was chaste. Nothing more than a peck, really. But it sparked something inside of Mickey. Something he didn't quite understand.

* * *

They must've dozed off because they were woken up by Lip pounding on the door and yelling, "Let me the fuck in Ian."

"Shit." They spoke at the same time in hushed voices.

"What do we do?"

"Obviously I go out the window and you pretend you were sleeping-alone."

"You can't jump out the window. But you can hide under the bed."

"What? Fuck that."

"Hurry up and get your clothes on, you're going under the bed."

Mickey didn't try to fight, Lip's yelling was getting louder and more aggressive.

Mickey pulled his clothes on hastily then dropped to the floor and shimmied under the bed.

"This isn't gonna work. I barely fit."

"Shut up."

Mickey stayed silent.

He heard Ian walk to the door and move the chair.

"Shit Ian. What the hell?"

"Sorry. I was sleeping."

"Why wouldn't the door open?"

"I wanted some fucking privacy."

"Did you jerk off in here?"

"Fuck you Lip."

The brothers argued back and forth for what seemed like hours until finally Mickey heard Lip leave and Ian slide the chair under the doorknob again.

"You can come out."

"Shut up Gallagher."

Ian flopped down on the bed once Mickey was safely out from beneath it.

"How am I getting outta here?"

"We wait until they're all asleep then we sneak you out the front door."

"Fuck that."

"We'll you can't go out the window."

"Too bad, I am."

"No."

"Yes, I knew if was a bad idea coming here."

"Whatever. Hurt yourself falling out the fucking window."

Mickey slid the window open.

"Later Gallagher."

Mickey climbed out, holding the windowsill, he looked into Ian's eyes once before letting go and dropping down.


End file.
